Ordinary | ✓

Chapter 30

December 15th

Yep, you read that right. It's been about a month and a half since that argument and I'm no closer to understanding it than I was before.

I'm not even going to get into this. It's been frustrating me and there's no point in me just ranting to you.

How about I tell you what's happened over the past month and a half instead?

Absolutely nothing.

Again, yes, you read that correctly. Steph pretends like the cafeteria conundrum didn't happen and so does Blaze, and it's so fucking annoying.

I have carried on my training with Lucas, and, despite my verbal protests, he's still adamant about the whole idea. According to him the reason we're not making any progress is because I don't believe that this will work. I'm sorry, but of course I'm going to be cynical—I know I'm powerless so this whole thing is pointless. Try saying that to Lucas, I dare you. At least it keeps me in good shape and we have cut back on the exercise so I'm not dying anymore, but the problem is it's a waste of time. I guess I don't really have much else to do with my time though so whatever.

Regarding the 'I like Lucas' topic, I still don't know where I stand.

Alright, fine, I like him. There, I said it. It's nothing serious though and I know it will pass that's why I'm not acting on it. I'm not going to ruin a great friendship with feelings that I'm positive will pass.

I've had a lot of time to deliberate over the past month and a half and this is what I've come up with. Pretty ingenious if you ask me.

Moving on let's talk about Blaze. There's not really much to say about him. I regard him as a good friend now. I don't know what it is but we just got along so well instantly, like we just clicked, you know?

I've learnt that he is quite violent. Okay, violent probably isn't the best word, rash maybe. It's not so much violence it's more so that he doesn't think things through. He does what he first thinks of without thought of consequence. A lot of the time that means he ends up getting physical with people that piss him off and he wins more often than not. To be honest, I don't think he's ever lost. That guy sure does know how to throw a punch. It makes you think how he was brought up and what he must have had to go through. I'm not judging at all though; I didn't exactly have the best upbringing, so who am I to judge other people's. Heck, I could probably do with some friends with twisted backstories so I don't feel as different, I'm not the only person who has been through shit so it can be nice to meet those people. I guess it makes me feel less alien.

Finally, let's talk about Stephanie. She's been acting really weird. She's still her usual self but she's always tense and it looks like she's been getting less and less sleep. She seems constantly stressed and I'm worried about her—actually—extremely worried.

I don't know what to do. I've tried talking to her but she acts as though nothing is wrong and it's pissing me off. Even Tyler can't get through to her and that makes it even worse. He's started to look a little disheveled too but he's nowhere near as bad as Steph.

So that's everything that's happened over the past month and a half. Nothing that exciting, but life isn't all fun and games. Sometimes it's a real, boring pain in the ass.

~*~*~

It's a week until my birthday *cue internal happy dance*. I'm finally going to be eighteen; I can't wait. I'll be able to legally drink and won't have to use my fake ID anymore. Yes that is one of the reasons I'm most excited. What can I say? I'm sure you already know I like drinking a lot, some say I'm a borderline alcoholic.