In Love With a Renegade

Chapter 12: Someone to Rely On

Taylor's POV

"I am very capable of walking, York," Hayley ranted for the tenth time as I carried her into the house.
"Can't be too sure," I said as I sat her down on the couch. She rolled her eyes at me as she folded her arms.
"They were pills. It's not like I tried to break my legs."
"I thought you didn't want to bring up the subject anymore," I teased as I went into the bathroom to clean the mess of last night. Some bottles and pills were found on the floor, leaving a messy track to Hayley's small pool of blood where she had cut herself. I felt my stomach turn into knots, the memory of last night still fresh in my mind, like it had happened just two seconds ago. It only took about an hour to clean up the mess, along with pushing the memory out of mind. It was nearly impossible.
"Do you need a psychiatrist or a therapist?" I asked as I walked up to Hayley again. She cringed at my question and shook her head vigorously.
"God, no!" she yelled. "They won't do me any good."
"How're you so sure?" I asked with a smirk.
"I just know." I sat next to Hayley and wrapped an arm around her, pulling her into an embrace.
"You can sleep in my bed tonight, if you want," I offered. Hayley looked up at me.
"Will you be there?" she asked.
"Only if you want me to," I admitted.
"Can I be frank with you about a few things?"
"Sure," I said.
"I... I really don't have any friends," she stammered. At first, I didn't believe her. But when I really thought about it, Hayley never did introduce me to any friends she had somewhat mentioned about. I smiled down at her with a chuckle.
"It's okay," I reassured. "Neither do I." Hayley giggled and moved closer to me.
"Also... I just... I feel... safe around you."
"Safe?"
"Yeah. You know, secure and all. I feel like nothing can tear me down when I'm with you. But when you're not there... it's the exact opposite." I gave her a faint smile as I tucked some of her hair behind her ear.
"I'm glad I can help you in some way," I said. Hayley planted a kiss on my lips.
"One more thing," she said, her cheeks turning an ombré of pink.
"What is it?"
"I love you," she said before taking me into another kiss, this one never ending. I didn't mind it. Hayley sat on my lap as she deepened the kiss, my hands on her waist and her hands in my hair. Every movement felt different.
I eventually found us in my room, me carrying Hayley to the bed. I laid her down on the bed, trailing kisses from her mouth to her neck. She giggled a little as she kicked her shoes off, them falling right next to the bed. I studied Hayley with a smile, her face lit up from the grin on her face as she laughed. I've never seen her so happy in her life.
Within moments, we were under the covers, bare, making love. Everything was perfect. Her scent, her laugh, her kisses, her teasing... Her. She was perfect in all the most imperfect ways. And I loved Hayley just for that. For her imperfections.
The night was long, leaving me awake with a sleeping Hayley beside me. I could feel the scars on her wrists made by her blade. I only wished I could cure them at the slightest touch. I wish I could take her pain away. My fingers brushed against her cuts, some old, some new. A group of them seemed to form a message. I carefully uncovered her arm and looked at it, finding a small message from her engravings.
I'm sorry, T.Y.
My initials. I wanted to ask her what she was sorry about and when and why she did this, but I couldn't disturb Hayley from her sleep. She needed it after a long two nights. Especially after what we did tonight. Instead of trying any of those actions I thought about, I tucked her arm under the covers and cuddled closer to Hayley, her perfectly scarred body against mine. I planted a kiss on her head as I wrapped an arm around her body.
"I love you," I whispered into her hair. "I love you no matter what."