Healing ✔

Chapter 26

Sara

I lay awake at night menatally going through the drawers in my room staring into the darkness. My discomfort was growing stronger and stronger with each passing minute.

I knew very well that what I was searching for was not in my possession yet I had searched the whole day constantly making dua in my head as if it would magically appear right in front of me. Eventually, and I don't know when but I drift off to sleep knowing it was only for a while until I awoke in terror.

*

The morning approaches much faster than I'd like and before I know it Zach is awake. I hear him get up and change in the corner of the room as usual but this time I was curled up in my bed not ready to get up, my back to him as usual.

"What's wrong?" I hear him say after he walks out the bathroom after finishing up his morning routine. His voice is slight muffled by the towel as he wipes his face.

"Nothing." I say not bothering to turn around.

"Do you want me to bring you breakfast up?"

"No that's okay. I already ate." I tell him knowing he was concerned about my unusual behaviour by the way he stood for a little longer than usual and then finally left.

I roll onto my back and rub my face feeling so crappy and stressed.

Ya Allah. Why do you test me so in these ways?

I curl up into a ball again and reach out for my fortress of Muslim beginning my daily Duas that I had started to build up as a habit ignoring the thoughts creeping up on me about my self defence lesson that was to be taking place in a while.

***

"Do you give me permission?"

"For what?

"To touch you." He looked at me warily like I was a fragile glass.

"I don't think this is such a good idea."

"Well who better to teach you than your husband who by the way is a black belt karate and trained to kill a person 5 different ways with a shoelace." He says smugly but fighting men were not attractive in my case they only just scared me.

"Yeah right!" I scoff. "You promise to let me go as soon I say?" I compromise and he nods.

"Uhuh." He says as he gets into position.

"I can't believe my dad is going to extreme lengths." I mumble as I take a step closer. "What do I do?"

"Okay what's your instincts when you see anything dodgy?"

"I run."

"Good." He nods and rubs his hands together. "Now I'm the attacker so you have to do whatever it takes for you to be free of me. Got it? I will go easy on you the first time but remember the enemy won't hesitate to do anything." I felt uneasy but I didn't tell him that.

"Okay. Got it."

"Ready?" But before I could respond I was tripped over and pushed to the floor trapped under Zachs body. He held his position but I was too struck by the suddenness to even move or fight. The head rush came at me full force making me dizzy "Sara, you got to fight back." Zach watches me when I don't do anything. My head is still spinning.

"This is stupid. I don't want to do this any more." I try to push him off but he doesn't budge. "Zach get off me."I push him again but he just smiles.

"Make me."

"I can't." I push again with half energy.

"You're not even trying."

"Just get off me. This is ridiculous." I was aware of my anger rising. The feeling of being trapped was taking over my mind and I was slowly finding it hard to breathe.

"Nope." He pops the p.

"What?"

"You got to co operate if you want to learn self defence. You have to.."

I grit my teeth. "I said get off me. I don't like this." I tell him.

"And I said make me." His eyes held a sparkle like he was enjoying this.

I pushed a few a times and when I didn't get anywhere I pushed harder feeling too overwhelmed by the close proximity. "I can't do this. You promised to let go!" I panic as I push at his shoulder and start to hit him with every passing second. My breathing was starting to go abnormal.

"I give you permission to do whatever it takes...agh!!" Zach rolls off and his eyes go slightly funny as he grunts and I think a little cuss word slips his mouth. I sit up immediately and catch my breath inhaling as much air possible until I realize what I had just done.

"I am so sorry." I bend over as Zach still struggles on the floor. He grunts turning away from me. "I panicked and I didn't know what to do." My hand reaches out a few times awkwardly to him but I didn't know exactly what to do.

Seeing Zach in pain on the floor makes me panic even more. I couldn't believe I had done that to him.

"I can't believe you..."He trails off grunting in pain. After a moment he gathers himself together and pulls himself up onto the bed.

I watch him for a few moments as he regains his steady breathing. "I'm sorry. Did it hurt?" I ask slightly uncomfortable. I couldn't tell if he was joking or being serious but the fact that he had his back towards me and his face turned away told me otherwise.

"You have no idea." He finally says turning to face me. "That's probably a good move on a guy but what if it had been a girl? What would you have done then?"

"I would probably have bit her nose off."

"That's gross." He makes a face and I just shrug. "But hey, do whatever it takes, just as long as you come back to me alive."

I shrug again.

I was quite grateful he didn't push me into another match of self defence, and although I liked to think that he was doing it for me I was very much convinced it was due to the fact he can't handle the pain a second time. I'm pretty sure that will be my most effective self defence since it works wonders.

"Okay I think you're not fully ready yet to co operate with me so we will let it go for now and resume later." He informs. I inwardly grin and then feel it making its way onto my face and stop.

"Sorry." I look at the ground.

"It's fine." He waves it off.

"I didn't mean to. I'm really sorry."

"I know. Just stop saying sorry."

"Sorry." I say and then bite my lip just as I realise.

We fall into comfortable silence and sit for a while each in our own thought. As much as I wanted to feel comfortable around him I just couldn't no matter how much I tried. The memories of my capture were still quite fresh and as much as I had made dua for me to get back to normal, Self defense wasn't the solution.

"I need to make whudu for Asr." I get up and look to him expectantly. There was no point in sitting idly doing nothing when Asr time was passing by. "You coming?" I turn expectantly.

Not that he had a choice because I was going to make him pray whether he liked it or not. I was hoping that soon he would get into a habit and he would start praying for his own self. It was just going to be a matter of time and prayer and Dua until that happened. He lets out a sign knowing very well he had no choice.

"Right behind you." He follows me out.

A/N

AssalamuAlaykum. I hope that each and everyone of you is in the best of health and Imaan In Shaa Allah.

Any guesses as to what Sara is dreading. Yes? No?

We shall find out soon in the next Chapter In Shaa Allah.

I'll catch y'all there 😎

For now...Peace xx

(Sorry I didn't get time to edit this. Let me know of any mistakes.)