Healing ✔

Chapter 33

Zachariah

I sat watching the blanket rise up and down with each breath Sara took. She was relaxed for now at least Alhamdulillah.

I wasn't sure if to wake her up for her prayer so instead I went to make whudu first. Maybe I can call her after I pray myself.

She was still asleep and even though her eyes were closed I could see the pain through her closed eye lids

I pray Dhuhr.

I wasn't completely sure of the rakats to pray so I only do 4 and end it there. I honestly just wanted to make Dua for Sara's health. The sight of her shook me. I had no idea this is what she holds within herself everyday. Now come to think of it I had treated her unjustly. Thought bad of her every time she would overreact. I had been unfair to her even if I thought I had done no harm. I had assumed I understood but I clearly didn't know the half of it.

This was another reminder of just how fragile her mind was. It was one thing to watch her through her nightmares but to see her have a panic attack was another sight altogether, even for me. A nail might as well have hit me in the chest when she croaked that she thought of herself as a freak. I had no idea she was going through much more than she was letting on.

I sense a movement stir behind me and turn around to finds Sara awake, she wasn't fully awake and the moment her eyes open I can vividly see the earlier events rushing back to her as dread and fear take over her features once again.

I hold my breath and stand up. I wanted to comfort her. Tell her she was not any different because of her traumatic experiences, that she was strong and brave but one look to her face has me rooted to my spot.

She was in pain-not physically but emotionally-and I had not a clue as to what was best for me to say at this moment.

I had called Sara's father right after she fell asleep.

We had sat on the kitchen floor for ages until she no longer could cry anymore. We rocked until she fell asleep hiccupping in my arms.

A knock on the door got her bolted upright and I folded my mat and went to open the door.

It was her father he had left his meeting in haste. I had insisted that he didn't need to but he had already cut the line and no doubt started on his way.

"Is she here?" He was out of breath and full of concern.

Sara had begun to cry once again and I took this chance to slip outside.

Sara's father was going to be in all day which gave me a bit of time to myself. I no longer could go call Amir since he was on course redoing one of his training after his injuries. He was fully booked 4 days a week which meant he wasn't available but I went to the office anyway taking the first train to get there.

***

The smell of muffins invaded my nose the second I arrived on my floor.

I stroll through the desks until I spot the bakery goods and help myself to it before I announce my arrival.

"What's up guys." I say in between mouthfuls.

I sit myself down on the tidiest desk. Since Amir wasn't here I thought it was best that I sit there since everyone else would never let me to sit on their work.

"Off the desk!" Johns voice came out of no where.

I throw the rest of the cake into my mouth and do as I'm told when my eyes narrow on his hair.

"Hey boss." I grin.

John had got a new funny haircut. He didn't look directly into my eyes as he did usually. He walked past in a hurry as if avoiding everyone. "Nice haircut." I mock not being able to help myself as he passed.