4. Unknown feelings

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I woke up at 4 a.m and prayed thahajath as always, and then fajr. No one at home wakes up for the morning prayers. They sleep late and wake up late.  I had almost packed my stuff. Just couple of more things to take, and that's it. I will call Fathima and stay at her place for a day or two until I find a place to rent. I have approximately $1000. I don't think it is enough to manage this months expense. May be I can take a loan from Anne or Fathima, they know I will pay them back. And I hope Stuart will remember me today. If he doesn't , then I am screwed.

I waited till it's about 8 to call Fathima and Anne. Told them what happened at home. I cant stay with Anne as her new boyfriend is staying home. Fathima lives in a room sufficient for her but not another person to live in. But she agreed she can manage for a week. Thanks God, that is something. Alhamdulillah.

I packed my things, and when I was about to leave I got a call. Mobile number and a fancy VIP number. Wow. I kind of felt who it was but dare I hope. So I answered.

"Hello, Zainab here" I said in my most professional tone.

"Morning Zainab. Stuart here from SJ Holdings" right, as if there are any other Stuarts in the world. No, there are other Stuarts but he is the only Stuarts I know.

"Good morning Mr.Stuart" I said.

"Join work today. I expect you before noon. Papers will be ready by then. Martha will call you shortly and deal with her. I don't have time to waste" and he hung up.


I packed all my things and waited for 10mins before dad and Munira came down for breakfast. They were not happy to see me, but I felt I had to see dad one more time before I go. I know, when I leave this house, I will leave him forever. Munira will make sure of it. So, I had to see the only person who means the world to me, my dad.


"Assalamualaikum dad. I am leaving. I doubt if I anyone will ever let me near you again" I said looking at Munira, and continued "But I couldn't go without seeing you. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me for whatever I might have done to make you hate me so much. But in my heart I know, I always wanted the best for you." I extend my hand to hold his, which he ignored, and ouch, it hurts. It really really hurts to be rejected.


I smiled at Munira and told her "Take care of him" and took my bags and left the place I called home. No one said a word. If my dad had only asked me to stay, I would have stayed no matter how difficult things would have turned out. But no, they all wanted me gone. So I go.


I reached Fathima's place at 10. I had time to have a quick shower, and change. I don't have much clothes. So I decided to wear my white office trousers and white blouse, then cover the beautiful dress with my abaya. I was choosing my black scarf but remembered Stuarts dislike of black. I want to look best for this job, the only hope from homelessness and destitute. So I wore a maroon head scarf. I don't use make up. I am not going to change that now. I used the eye pencil , a little powder and a touch of maroon lip gloss. My look is good enough to kill. I know that much.


My be I should consider covering my face, and only lift the face veil at office. Sure to stop all these unwanted attention.

I took a taxi and before 12 I was at SJ Holdings. 

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HR call employees. I don't. But I felt restless about Petra and some other projects, I thought I needed a distraction.

Zainab did sound sweet over the phone as she is in person. Did I make the right choice by hiring her as the work I have is for not faint hearted. Except for killing people, I do everything else. Killing is the only thing I draw my line at.

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