9. First kiss and First hug

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From the moment I read the baby girls' name, I had this uncontrollable feeling and imagination. A small girl with her mothers green eyes and smile, a girl who will brighten up my life, a girl who will bring so much happiness and love in to my life. I am not feeling well. I couldn't eat as my head started spinning in all direction.

Zainab noticed. I brushed it off, as I cant bear to look at her and be sane. If anything, I feel insane. Zainab and I need to talk.

After her friends said good bye which took almost a 100 years to do so, she sat opposite me.

"So, you decided what our daughter will be named without my consent"

I have never seen Zainab babble but then she did, while I watch with amusement. My.. So I was right. Her friends have teased her mercilessly with my name. It felt good. Really good.

"Zainab and Zahra. I like it" I really did. I just could feel myself seated in this chair and small girl just like her mother in my arms.

"What if it is a son?" I had to know.

"I didn't see my pendant and chain as yet" I want to see.

Then she did what she always do, retreat and hide. The moment she wanted to get me something to drink, i know she is planning her escape. I cant miss this moment. I want more.I took two strides and stood right beside her. Took the damned cup she is holding away. I need this. I grabbed from her waist towards me placed my hand on her belly something I wanted to do since I learnt about Zahra. She stood still , unable to move , shocked and confused. No, I want to feel it. I want to know.

"I want to know what my son will be named and I want to see the pendant I spent a small fortune buying for a woman who is the mother of my children" I will be damned if I don't know the name.

"Hamza" I was surprised as she was to hear the name. And even though I don't have any children, I felt like I do now.

"Zahra Stuart John and Hamza Stuart John" It sound perfect. And I have the perfect woman in my arms, and I did the next perfect thing.

I kissed her.

I didn't mean to, but I did. And I don't regret one moment of it.

The moment my lips touched hers, she didn't know what to do. This is her first kiss. I am her first ever everything. I will not dishonor her. But I need her for my sanity. She stood still while moved my hand to hold her face. I moved my lips one hers. Sweet heaven. It taste like heaven. I want more. I pressed her more in to my body while claiming her lips over and over again, hungrily, greedily and most of all passionately. Her hands have move to my chest. I could feel it. that was enough for me to deepened the kiss. This feels like the first time I am kissing a woman. At least first time in 8 months.


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I must ask him to stop. This is haram. I shouldn't let him hold me or kiss me. I am proving my father and Munira right. But I cant move. I cant.

His lisps were initially tender and soft on my lips. I didn't know what to do. I just stood still.

Then he slowly moved his lips on mine. It felt like heaven. I can feel my knees becoming weak. I moved my hand to his chest for support, and he deepened the kiss. The kiss was demanding and passionate. No, I cant take it.

"No, please" I said burying my face on his chest. His arms were around me. His heart was beating fast and mine faster. I like the warmth and feeling of burying my head in his chest. I have to calm down. He didn't let go of me. While he held me tight, I just soaked up everything I can from him.

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