Querencia \\ Hvitserk Ragnarsson

Chapter 10: Don't hold back

Bjarke had been in front the entire time. She was at least a hundred feet ahead of the five men (Rollo, Hvitserk, Harald, Halfdan and Björn) and was very surprised when she heard a voice coming from right behind her.

"My brother is upset. It would not surprise me if it is because of you," Björn said.

Bjarke sighed. "Really, you too?"

"Bjarke, you're like my little sister and I care about your happiness, but I Hvitserk is my brother and I also care about his happiness. Right now neither of you seem to be doing okay," he said.

Bjarke looked over her shoulder and saw the other three men were still far behind.

"Björn, it's complicated."

"No, it's really not. My brother is in love with you and he has been for quite a while now. You've been in love with him too, you've just never been in love. The reason you do not know how you feel about him is that you have never felt like this before. Trust me, I know how you feel and I know how my brother feels about you."

Bjarke repeated those words in her head. She'd probably never admit it, but Björn was right.

"Don't hold back. Tell him how you feel. Things will get a lot better afterwards, I promise," Björn said while gently squeezing her shoulder.

"Hey, look! I think we've reached the top!" Bjarke excitedly said. The edge was only about fifty feet away from them. Bjarke rushed towards it, forgetting about her conversation with Björn for a second, and laughed.

The others soon caught up and all of them just stood there for a few seconds, everyone completely silent.

Obviously, Harald had to be the one to break that silence. "We made it, Ironside."

"At last," was Björn's response. "The Mediterranean. This is further than our people have ever come."

"Further than Ragnar dreamed," Bjarke said while smiling widely. "It's beautiful."

After another peaceful moment of silence, Bjarke suddenly heard birds crowing. She turned around to look at them and saw a lot of black birds flying around. She took a few steps towards the birds and noticed they had drawn Björn and Hvitserk's attention as well.

"How the little piggies will grunt when they hear the old boar suffered," Bjarke heard Ragnar's voice.

"Hvitserk, did you hear him too?" Björn asked.

"Yes."

Without even noticing herself Bjarke stepped closer to Hvitserk when she saw the old man appear. The man was missing an eye. It didn't take her long to put the pieces together. Birds. Missing eye. The clothes he was wearing. This was Odin...

Ragnar was dead...

"Are you okay," Bjarke asked Hvitserk. She carefully rested her hand on his shoulder.

Hvitserk turned around and then softly whispered: "My father is dead."

"I know. I heard it too," Bjarke said. It was out there before she even realized the words had left her lips.

Björn turned around to look at her. She nodded at him and Björn walked away from them.

"How did you-" "It's a long story," Bjarke interrupted. "I promise I will tell you. Just give me some time to figure out the words."

Hvitserk nodded.

"However," Bjarke continued, "you did not answer my question. Are you okay?"

Hvitserk sighed. He started walking back into the direction they came from, making sure the others had not seen them just yet. They were too busy with the Mediterranean sea.

"I don't know, Bjarke. I have been so angry with him all this time, but I wished it would not have happened. My father should not have died."

"Hvitserk, Ragnar really did care about you guys," Bjarke said.

Hvitserk's head shot up. "How do you know that? It's not like you knew my father."

"Trust me, Hvitserk. I know your father a lot better than you think I do. Besides, any father would. It doesn't matter whether or not a father loves his sons. There is a difference between loving someone and caring for them. Your father did both. He left to protect you. The hate people are giving him now would've affected all of you much worse than it does now," Bjarke said.

That made Hvitserk stop walking. "Why are you saying this? How do you know that?"

"Sometimes the things we do to protect the people we love do not turn out the way we want them to," Bjarke said while looking right into Hvitserk's eyes. "I know that better than anyone. I ended up hurting someone I both cared about and loved without even knowing it and I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for it."

"Who did you hurt?" he asked.

It took Bjarke a lot of courage to answer that question, but she knew it was going to be now or never.

"You."

Hvitserk swallowed. "What do you mean?"

"I thought distancing myself from you would be the better option. You're a son of Ragnar. I thought I'd end up getting you hurt when you found out about who I really am. I'm still frightened that it will. But distancing myself hurt you more than I thought it would."

"Bjarke..."

Don't hold back. Tell him how you feel.

"Hvitserk, I do love you."

He did not even hesitate. Before she knew it his hands were on her back. He pulled her closer and within a second his lips were on hers.

The kiss only lasted a few seconds, but it was enough to turn both of their worlds upside down.

"I'm glad I do not have to share a tent with the two of you tonight," Harald laughed.

Hvitserk and Bjarke broke apart. Bjarke did not find it funny at all. She glared at Harald and then said: "Tell Björn I'll be at the camp."

Hvitserk was smiling from ear to ear. Bjarke had just enough time to turn around. It was only then that she realized what had just happened and she did not want him to see her blushing just yet.