𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝔻𝕒𝕣𝕜𝕟𝕖𝕤𝕤 𝕋𝕙𝕒𝕥 ℂ𝕠𝕟𝕤𝕦𝕞𝕖𝕤 𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝕃𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 ➀

37 WORTHLESS

I walk down the hallway, straightening myself to my full height as I do. Just as my father looks like he's about to knock he notices me come up alongside him. His eyes look over me, going to my right arm automatically looking at it in disgust. My father hated tattoos, so the full sleeve that creeps its way onto my chest is probably irritating the absolute fuck out of him.

Probably should have put a shirt on.

"Is there something I can help you with?" I drop the laundry basket and cross my arms over my chest.

He looks down to the laundry basket and then scoffs, "You're doing a woman's work? Thought you had a girlfriend for that?"

I glare at him. If he knew the amount and the type of hard work Monica has been doing he wouldn't be fucking talking, but he never would. This old fuck probably couldn't even get it up without medical assistance.

"What do you want, David?" I didn't care how he found my apartment, he had contacts. The first being Trevor's father

"Is that anyway to talk to your father, Sean?" His features turned into stone by the end of that remark. "We haven't seen each other or had a proper conversation in ages."

"Cut the fucking pleasantries, David. I want to see you just as little as you want to see me." He looks like I've offended him. The man always was a good actor. "What the fuck are you here for?"

"Aren't you going to invite me inside?" I glare at him again. That is the last fucking place I'm letting you. "I'd rather have a conversation behind closed doors instead of in a shady apartment complex hallway." He grits out aggravatedly.

"Listen, I don't have time for your shit. I've been happier without you in my life so I honestly couldn't even give a fuck to hear what you have to say to me. Nothing you have to say is important to me anymore. You're just an old prick." I move around him, placing my key in the door.

"It's about Isa..." I close my eyes at his pet name. "It's about your mother, Sean."

I grit my jaw and my hand tightens on the door handle. I want to break the fucking thing off as my demons start sinisterly boiling underneath my skin. "Yeah, well since when the fuck do you ever care if something is wrong with her? My recollection seems to remember you being the reason she ended up in the hospital most of the time." Along with myself, but I'm not going there.

"Your mother has ill mental health, Sean. She always has. You can see how frustrating that could be to the man that was just trying to provide a home for his wife and son."

There they are. All the demons. Demons crawling wildly all throughout my skull.

I turn around and give him a hard shove backwards. His eyes look up startled at me as I throttle him up against the wall opposite my apartment. "You tell me," I lift him off his feet by his neck "how does it feel to feel helpless? Does it make you scared? Are you frightened when someone's hand is wrapped around your neck?" I cock my fist back, putting it just inches in front of his face. "When someone's fist is in front of your face threatening you?" he starts to writhe beneath me causing me to chuckle sinisterly at him. "How does it feel to be helpless, stuck, trapped?" I can feel my eyes blazing in fury. "I wonder if after years of torment that would cause someone to mentally snap."

"Sean!?" I hear Monica call out behind me worriedly. "Sean, what the hell is going on?"

I don't respond to her. I'm just starring into his eyes as I tighten my grip on his neck, liking the horror I see plastered all over his face. I can tell he's struggling, he can barely breathe. For some reason this is extremely satisfying.

"Jesus Christ, babe." Monica puts a hand on the arm that's holding my father solidly against the wall by his neck. "Babe, listen to me." I'm trying but the demons are not just festering, they are raging an otherworldly-sized fire inside of me. "Sean, look at me. Please, look at me." I cock my head to the side but only marginally. "He's not worth it. You're better than this, better than him. You're way more of a man than he ever could be." I blink a few times as I look down into her pleading eyes.

I look back to the man in my hand, "You're a fucking piece of shit." I throw him on the ground where he immediately begins gasping for breath and clawing at his throat. "I don't ever want to see you again. If you ever, and I mean if you fucking ever come near me, my girlfriend, or my home ever again I will fucking kill you. That is a promise, asshole. I will fucking kill you."

"Sean, babe, come on." Monica says softly at my side as she gently pulls my arm. As angry as I am at the man on the floor she's always my calm in the storm.

"Yeah, listen to your little slut bitch." So much for the calm.

All I see is red after that. I draw my leg back then am about to give him a solid kick to the ribs, hopefully breaking a few, when Monica steps in front of me. "Sean..."

"Monica, move. This bastard deserves it." I grit out, my eyes probably looking like a forest on fire as I look down at her. "He deserves it."

She's nodding at me. "Yes, he does, but he's not worth it. Come on, babe." She reaches out, grabbing both of my angry, trembling hands with hers. Her wide brown eyes look up at me with adoration.

Adoration. Something my mother never had when she looked into my father's eyes. No, she just looked at him like he was a fucking monster or a fucking plague and that's because he is one.

I nod, "You're right. Just an underserving piece of shit." I look back at him angrily one time saying, "If you ever come here again you know what will happen." I walk into our apartment behind Monica and slam the door so hard I'm surprised when the thing doesn't snap.

I lean my back against the door and close my eyes as I let out a long, shaky breath. I feel Monica's hands on my chest, she's placing soft kisses on my abdomen. I caress her back with my hand as she wraps her arms around me, hugging me. "You know how much I love you, right?"

I open my eyes, looking down at the top of her head as she clutches to me just a little tighter. There are no demons scorching me anymore. The biggest demon is outside, behind the door. This woman clinging to me made them go away. Monica made the bad things go away, even when the bad things were inside of me.

I feel her try to reach inside of my pants but I stop her hand. She looks up at me in confusion. She's looking at me like that because this is what I'd usually need, something to make the bad go away, something to numb the pain.

"Can we just..." I eye the bed that has been made with a new bed set "You really went and bought another bed set?"

"Well, I figured we needed to have two. You know one for when the other one is in the wash. Seems to be an everyday occurrence now." She smiles mischievously up at me.

"Come here." I pull Monica towards the bed.

"I thought you said you..."

"I just want to lay with you, hold you." I say pulling down the covers on the freshly made bed.

"Wait, you're saying you just want to cuddle?" Monica looks at me incredulously as I get into the bed and pat the space next to me.

"Sweetheart, just get in the fucking bed." She immediately crawls into the bed, then into my arms. I place a kiss on her forehead as we entangle our legs together.

After a few moments she looks up at me, "What did he have to say?"

"He wanted to talk about my mother."

She snuggles into me tighter, "I'm sorry, babe." I kiss the top of her head. "You want to talk about it?"

"Not right now. I just want to hold you." And it's the truth. Monica is like a life preserver, keeping my head above the sea of darkness.