To Be A Killer

Chapter 54: If Today Was Your Last Day

I'm sitting down in the play room with Milo and Penelope with puzzle piece in hand. It's quiet, but that doesn't surprise me. It's been quiet the last two days I've been home.

I mean, what can we say? After months-months-of searching we finally know where our people are, where they've been, but we're no closer to getting them back, nor do we have any idea as to how to stop Diana's oncoming attack on Abel. It's like all these months we've spent searching, researching, desperately trying to find some sort of answer, have all been for nothing. It's taken everything in me not to rip my own hair out.

I place the puzzle piece down before grabbing another one, waiting for Milo and Penelope to do the same. Their eyes stare blankly at the puzzle and the picture we're attempting to create when we lay down each piece. Their eyes are hollow, and their faces are blank. After hearing that Caleb wouldn't be coming back with us, they stopped caring as much. It's like a little bit of them died. Penelope isn't as happy, and Milo hasn't once asked about training to be a runner-not one time.

That's how I know. This has truly devastated them, and I don't know how to make things better.

"Why did they give you off today?" Milo asks suddenly, causing me to look up. There are dark circles under his eyes, the shades of lilac contrasting greatly to his light skin that's noticeably paler than it was before I went on those Comansys boats.

"Because I only got home a few days ago," I reply. "The journey back was a hard one. It left Paula and I exhausted, and we had to hurry to make sure we could get Maxine into the cryo-freezers before anything... happened... Why do you ask?"

He shrugs, his eyes glancing back down at the puzzle. "Well, don't you want to stop Diana? I thought you'd want to find a way to get her mind control stopped so we could get Caleb and everyone else back?"

My eyes go wide for a split second at the bite in his voice, and I bite my tongue, trying not to lash out. I can see the anger in his eyes, as if he thinks this is somehow my fault that Caleb had to stay with Comansys. I know deep down he doesn't think that; I know deep down he's just upset and doesn't know how to handle it, but that doesn't make me feel any less annoyed.

Doesn't he know how hard I tried to convince Caleb to come back?

If we had a way to stop Diana right now, I would be out of these gates before anyone could even realize I was leaving, but we have no leads, we have no idea how to stop her. All we know is how she put people under her mind control via CeretinPlus and that Van Ark created a way to break it with a serum that causes the surrounding skin cells to die and eventually fall off. And we only found that out six days ago.

Sadly, this doesn't help at all in finding a way to stop her. But I can't tell Milo that, or Penelope. They wouldn't understand. They wouldn't understand how hard this has been, how big of an emotional and mental blow this is. How could they? They're simply children...

But then again, I technically am one too...

"I have a run scheduled for tomorrow," I say instead. "I wasn't given much detail on it, but that usually means it's about something important. If it was a supply run, they'd have told me, since there's no need for suspense on a mission like that."

"Will it help get Caleb back?" Penelope asks, her eyes wide. I look away and sigh.

"I really, really hope so."

He's alive, at least. He's as okay as he can be on that ship. He's not having that stuff injected in him. That's what I keep telling myself, knowing that that right there should lift my spirits just a bit... but it doesn't.

It doesn't make me feel better. It doesn't give me any sort of peace or contentment. It just makes me angry because he needs to be here, not hundreds of miles away. I know he'd be happy here, and I wouldn't let him leave like before.