What A Lie Looks Like | ✓

1.16: sephine

"Why is it so busy here? You would think that all of the politicians would be on holiday, and the place would be empty." I snort as Ollie, and I weave our way through the crowded streets near the CityCenterDC mall.

He pulls the beanie down to cover the tops of his ears as it already covers his sandy blonde mop of hair. "Do they even get a holiday?" Ollie asks, referring to my mom's job.

"They get official federal holidays off, but I think she had to take time off to stay home the extra days. I know my dad is just on leave right now, but he goes back to Texas on the third."

"So, are they keeping an eye on you?" I don't really have an interest in shopping right now, but Ollie wanted to go sightseeing even though there is snow on the ground and it's cold enough to see our breath.

The scarf I got from the Burberry store a few weeks ago is tied around my neck to keep the chill out, and I'm surprised at how well it's working. I would hope after spending a couple hundred dollars, I could at least get a scarf that works. "I guess they are. I think they just assumed that after the internship in Italy, I wouldn't be stupid enough to do it again. Things kind of went back to the way things used to be."

He loops his arm with mine, although with the thick coats we're wearing, I can't feel any body heat coming from him. "You haven't, though, right?"

"I mean, it's tempting at times when I try to juggle everything. Like I know how bad it was, but sometimes it's just hard, and I remember how much easier everything was."

Ollie sighs, and it's a heart-wrenching sound because I know that he's disappointed. "It might have been easier for you, but it wasn't easy for any of us that you wouldn't let in. I know that I played a part in it, but I wish things had gone down differently."

I exhale dramatically, making sure to look at the cloud of frozen breath in front of me. "Ollie, you know I'm fine, right? I mean we never talk about how you have been doing with-"

"I don't want to talk about it." Ollie tenses, and I pull him off to the side, but he can't meet my eyes.

"I'm sorry."

He smiles sadly, "No, don't be. I dragged you into my shit the moment I asked you for help, so I can't exactly get mad that you asked about it. I just need some more time so that I can come to terms."

"So, where are you planning on auditioning?" I ask, trying not so subtly to change the topic to something a lot less heavy. Lately, it seems like the only conversations we have are heavy ones.

Ollie lightly tugs me back onto the busy sidewalk, where we merge with the flow of foot traffic once again. "Banes talked to me, and she thinks that I have a shot with the Sydney Dance Company. I've been looking at the American Ballet Company, and I know that you've been focused on Opéra national du Rhin, but I was hoping that you might consider auditioning with me?"

"I can't put all of my eggs in one basket, and I've been looking at auditioning for both of those just in case France doesn't work out." My smile widens as I think about performing with Ollie again, but he has a better shot than I do right now because he stayed at Bayard.

His mouth tugs up into a smile, "It'd be great to be in the same city again."

"Yeah, it would be." I've been thinking about what I'm about to say ever since Banes visit two weeks ago, and I'm not sure what to do. "Do you think I should come back to Bayard?"

It was probably the exact opposite of what he had thought I was going to say next, and he stops walking, causing the people behind us to run into us.