ANTICHRIST | phan ✔️

it's just like heaven

2 more chapters left after this one!!

TRACK TWENTY NINE
"jupiter"
flower face

👼🏻

1989

dan howell was sure he looked like a ghost as he ran with phil lester through the trees in lizzy grant's white wedding dress, laughing breathlessly because here they were, still alive, two boys who'd fought against religion and returned with priest's blood on their clothes and hearts beating in their chests, thud! thud! thud! the twigs snapped under their feet as they ran, stopping for no one, phil holding dan's hand and leading through the afternoon darkness towards miss grant's house. as soon as the back door was open, phil had wrapped his arms around dan's waist and sat him up on the kitchen counter.

"we did it," he whispered, lips brushing against dan's. "we fucking did it..."

"amen to that," dan smiled, hands slipping into phil's hair to tilt back his head and kiss his lips; christ, that boy still tasted like lavender and lucifer. "hey...you hurt your wrist..."

"oh, this?" phil said, looking down at the bruised skin. "yeah. got kicked by a priest."

"at least you didn't steal his lighter," dan said, and slipped his hand into the pocket of phil's black trousers to pull out that lighter he'd stolen back in 1987.

"...i wanted to kill a priest, and i thought of you..."

"lizzy got any cigarettes?" phil asked, to which dan leant down from the counter to pull out the top drawer and reveal a half-full pack of marlboros. phil slipped one out and put it between his teeth, before leaning a little closer to dan for him to light it.

"you look so fucking pretty when you smoke," dan whispered, reaching out to stroke down the side of phil's face as he took a drag.

"really?" phil smiled, the cigarette burning between his two fingers. "do i like look that drawing of me in your hymn book?"

he took another drag, only this time he kissed dan as he breathed out the smoke. dan took it in his mouth, and now it would be lavender and nicotine that tasted like phil.

"christ," phil murmured, as he watched his cigarette smoke pass dan's lips.

"what?" dan asked, leaning back on the countertop and biting his bottom lip.

"'you're heavenly."

phil stubbed out his short-lived cigarette in the ashtray on the kitchen table behind him before he slipped his arms around dan's waist again to pull him closer.

"hey," he smiled, rubbing dan's thighs over the wedding dress, "i guess we're married now."

"that make me your wife?" dan laughed, rolling his eyes. "there weren't even any rings."

"who needs rings?" phil replied, adjusting dan's legs so they were around his hips. "i don't need god, dan, i just need you."

phil lester was the only religion dan knew he'd ever need, and the "kiss me" that passed his lips in nothing more than the softest whisper was more like an "amen." and phil did just that, cupping dan's face in his hands, and pressed a kiss to his lips as gentle as an angel's wings. the brunet keened into his mouth, eyes fluttering shut, and tightened his legs around phil's waist. dan found himself wondering if heaven (if it was even up there, and as long as god wasn't as dead as the lavender) would be like this, like phil lester kissing him with his lavender lips until kingdom come.