Wages Of Sin

Kabanata 24

Kabanata 24

I know that there's a time and moment in our life where we'll realize how unfair it is. Lahat naman siguro sa atin, naranasan iyon. Everything will be fuck up, all we have could be mess up, the ship where we believe that could make us safe will throw us at the sea. Alone, deep, suffocated, drowned.

Totoo naman. Life is just one stupid dork who came but we never ask to. I mean, sino bang maghahangad na magkaro'n nito? What does its worth? Kasi it doesn't makes any sense. Not even a single one. We live to die? Ridiculous.

Okay, ipagpalagay nating wala na tayong magagawa when it comes to life. It is already scripted what it need to do. What we need to do. Life may give some challenges, lessons and realizations shits that could be a reason why we live for. But for almost my entire life, I became numb.

Nand'yan 'yung realizations. It helps us to get mature in our every day. But I settled for it. Just for it and became contented on what and where I am.

Life may give us challenges that can help us learn lessons. It could be a river. Nasa sa atin na kung magpapati-anod tayo o lalabanan at bumaligtad doon.

And that's the biggest mistake I had done. I bet it's normal to feel and realize unusual things as we grow up. Pero masyado 'ata akong naging sensitive.

Nagpadala ako masyado't nagpakain sa dapat sanang hamon lang ng buhay para matuto. We are destined to solve the problems that life has given us, but I chose to escape it. A decision I regret after.

Pinahid ko ang panibagong luha na tumakas mula sa aking mga mata. I sniffed and lean on to the cold wall in where I am right now.

Napatingin ako sa paligid. This place is a closed area. Purong bakal ang mga nakikita ko at isang malaking pintuan, made out of hard steel.

Napahilamos ako ng kamay. Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin. Where I am right now felt so hopeless. I am over thinking but that doesn't include the plan on how to escape.

I suddenly remembered what happened earlier. What Ferrous said, how this situation is fucked up.

Napa-iling na lamang ako. I closed my eyes and tried to reminisce the root of these damned situation.

…

Kaagad akong naghanap ng mau-upuan habang bitbit ang isang tray pagkatapos makakuha ng pagkaing gusto. I roamed my eyes to look for a vacant seat but I found nothing except for a two-seater table.

Walang tao ro'n. Marahil na rin siguro sa malapit iyon sa C.R. Though punuan ang canteen kung nasaan ako ngayon, walang nagtangkang umupo roon.

I took a deep sigh and walk towards the table. Everyone's eyes suddenly turned to me. Maya-maya pa'y lumipat ang tingin nila sa C.R. sabay bulong sa katabi.

I flinched while my brows are crease. Hindi naman mabaho rito. The school management also maintains the school's cleanliness. Siguro nga katabi ito ng C.R., but I'm sure it's germs-free. The school always prioritize students' safeness. I trust them when it comes to it.

Nagsimula akong kumain ng binili kong pagkain. Habang ngumunguya'y batid ko ang pagngiwi ng iilan sa paligid ko. Sus, ka-artehan ng mga 'to.

Kinuha ko ang iced tea sa mesa saka akmang inumin nang may umupo sa harap ko. I stopped. He smiled.

"Hi," he greeted. "Mind if I join you?"

I didn't response. Tumuloy lang ako sa pag-inom. I saw him shrugged and started to bite his apple. His eyes are roaming na para bang nagbabantay sa mga nakamasid sa 'min.