Withered (Michaeng) ✔️

Chapter 14: Pain 🥀

Warning: The chapter in this book may be unsettling and include violent acts against sexual integrity. Please skip it if it's too much for you to handle.

_____________________________________

Why is it not enough?

Why my reluctance not enough to make you stop?

Why are my tears no enough?

Is it my fault, for being too weak to fight?

Why, why we ended up like this?

Why are you doing this to me?

You are my best friend.

Finally, this is going to end. Urrgh, he's so heavy. I don't think I can do this anymore, fortunately only a few stairs then we'll get to his room. God, I'm late for home it's almost twelve sharp, my parents will scold me.

I support him to walk to his room and flop him into the bed as I sit on the floor, catching air. I stand and fix his sleeping position, basically his habit to sleep lying on his stomach. Take his shoes off, socks and put him under a blanket.

There's no light, but the blackness little by little fading as the moon guides me through the night. His face lights up by the moonlight creep from the window. How come he's this good looking while sleeping? I thought to myself before tap his forehead saying goodnight. He groans a bit which reminds me of old times when he always did that whenever he's mad. I smile then turn around heading to the door but stop when my hand grabbed from behind.

Chaeyoung says a word that I couldn't understand. He's basically mumbling something, I walk closer and sit on my knees leaning against his bed trying to catch his word. He keeps his mouth shut for a moment then again says something I don't get. I laugh at myself for taking a drunk person's word seriously. I'm about to stands as I thought he has fallen asleep, but to my surprise, he cups my cheeks, staring into me. I'm caught off guard. He leans closer and we are so close, my heart could explode. I pull away only for him to tighten his grip until it's hurt.

"This is bad"

I quickly lift my hand and held his arms, hesitantly look up to him, the swirl of emotion I see there makes me gasp. Lust, desire and..... fear? However, before I could ponder about it further, he brings me close until there's no gap between us. His lips brush mine, I try to pull away but he is was too strong, besides my body seems not listening to me. Urged myself to push away but couldn't, my body begin to tremble uncontrollably. I've never in this uncomfortable state when I'm with Chaengie but somehow, now I am.

His head angled slightly to the side of his lips came closer and closer to mine. I couldn't think straight, lots of things going through my mind as our lips met. My body goes rigid with surprise, it's a gentle, soft kiss with its flicker of warmth. I don't respond to the kiss, my hand shaking slightly, my mind is repeating the same sentence over and over Don't do this, don't do this but the sound of my heart is beating so loud, I couldn't concentrate.

His hand moves from my cheeks to the back of my head. His fingers tangling in my long hair, lightly pulling me into him, adding pressure to our lips, deepening the kiss. My heart aches, I couldn't bring myself. At this moment, I know something is just wrong, everything is wrong. He is drunk, he might not even remember what happened the next day. With that, I push him with my hand that rest against his chest. He looks at me then smile, that annoying smile.

I take shallow breaths and without saying a word, I leave with my back facing him heading to the door. I feel guilty and shame at the same times. It just a mistake, I convince myself.