Chapter 43: A Fool

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• Chapter 42 •

Previously,


"Mina" She lifts her head when he calls her names with wracked voice and they manage to stare at each other. The image of his tears dripping into his mouth as he cries silently, hurt her.


Chaeyoung gulp and blink to wash his eyes from the salty water so he can see her clearly. He breathes out and a faint smile formed across his face.


"I'm in love with you"



• Chapter 43 •

There is such a weighted silence. Mina sits stiff, a puzzled expression on her face. It seems like her mind is still a surging perplexity but their shared gaze remained unbroken. The moment those words slipped Chaeyoung's mouth, everything is ruined. Those more than ten years of friendship, those wall between them, and those unremarked line that separates them, is gone. And both aware of the consequences and the risk it took.


When it becomes clear to the girl, she looks down and squeezes her eyes. That's it. The secret of him that she'd been trying to find and today it's revealed and she finally knows why is it a secret. Too much, too overwhelming. The thought that lingers inside her mind, the mixed emotions she's having. What is it? Anger? Sadness? Fear? Lost? Anxious? Or hurt? Even she has no idea what kind of feelings that overpowering the other. But one thing for sure, it's negative, piercing and profound.


"I-I'm sorry"


One second passed. Two seconds passed. Three seconds passed. Guilt is eating and pestering her. Mina feels the warmth on her cheeks that radiates from the touch of his hand, slowly fades as he draws away. It sparks guiltiness inside her but that's the only things she could utter. It's the outcome of confusion and shock.


Chaeyoung slowly shifts his position to the front while chewing on his lips, preventing it to tremble. A broken faucet as his tears tracing his cheeks than to his chin, falling nonstop. He expected the answer but never thought to listen to it, in reality, will be that painful. Pathetic, you are denied for something which you only deserved. A voice whispers inside his mind and he approves the saying. A thick, suffocating silence surrounds them as he still trying to compose himself. Finding the normal rhythm for his heart to beat, controlling his breathing and recover back to his senses. But how could he? when it feels like a thousand pieces of glass just planted deep inside his heart or maybe all over his body. It's a familiar feeling but each time it strikes, the pain somehow increases and the frustration builds.


Mina's eyes fix on him, staring his side view. She wanted to reach for him and comfort him but does she have the right? And maybe he just needs some time or both of them need time, away from each other for a while. With that thinking, she gets down the swing bed and wordlessly walks away.


"Why---" Mina catch the bitterness in his voice and abruptly stop on her step. She stands there, like no more than a mannequin. She hardly gulps while waiting for him to continue. Unbeknown to him, how little water droplets stream down her rosy cheeks.


Chaeyoung rubs his face and follows the girl, standing beside her. "Why am I never good enough? Is- is there's something wrong with me?" He marvelled, letting his emotion take over him. "What do I have to change? Or...who..who I have to become?"


It's always been an act of putting a lid on a boiling pot, eventually, the contents will rise to the top and spill over. If we push our feelings down and down and try to avoid them, eventually, they will explode out. Just like him. Surrendering to the eternal feelings to take control of his actions and words.


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