Chapter 6 : "Pudding? What are you, five?"

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In her book White Oleander, Janet Fitch wrote 'But hatred, now, that's something you can use. Sculpt. Wield. It's hard, or soft, however you need it'. It's such a lovely quote, and I always use it when I start to feel hatred towards someone. Recently, that someone has been Jay. I hate his smugness, his glare, his overall sense of purpose, his entire character. 

I can dance circles around his intelligence. My brother Matty knows more about the basic principles of mathematics than he does. Is this school so lacking of proper tutors that they've stuck me, a seemingly hopeless case, with him?

Maybe I can convince Cranston to test me himself, and I'll show him I can achieve an A on my own, and make him promise not to make a show of it. There may still be a way to sneak by to graduation, without being bothered by anyone in the process. Clearly I'm not smart enough, or I would have thought of this simple solution when Cranston first suggested the ludicrous idea of being tutored. 

"Miss Boniadi, I don't have time for this. I was on my way out to a meeting with Superintendent Fillmore before you barged in so unceremoniously," Cranston says as he gathers some papers off his desk and places them neatly in his briefcase. 

"I'm sorry, but I just need a moment of your time. I can prove to you that I don't need a tutor."

"You had that chance the last three years."

"No. Look, I've been receiving bad grades on purpose. I didn't want to draw attention to myself... if you would just give me one more chance-"

Cranston holds up a hand, "Miss Boniadi, why on Earth would a student do such a thing on purpose? And as I said, I don't have time for this at the moment. I'm already late for the meeting, and then I'll be away for a week at a conference in Washington D.C. Vice Principal Mathers will be here to oversee the school in my absence. If you have any questions, you can take it up with her. However, I suggest you stick to the tutoring schedule we created, and not waste Ms Mathers' time with your shenanigans. She's also the coach for the girls' volleyball team, and they're in the quarter-finals. She has enough on her plate as it is."

"But sir-"

"Enough, Miss Boniadi. You should get back to your class, or your teacher might give you a detention, as I am not writing you a late-note. For once, please do as I ask. I will see you when I get back, and perhaps then I can go over your progress." Cranston doesn't wait for me to reply. He closes his briefcase, says a quick goodbye, and heads out the door. 

I stand there, pouting, with my arms crossed over my chest. Another week of torture awaits me, and it's all I can do to keep my anger checked.

***

It's Saturday, and I'm out grocery shopping. 

I like walking through the aisles, picking up random items, and reading the ingredients. Call me strange, but it somehow calms me. I imagine what ingredients I might use instead, to lower the calories, to make it taste better, to sustain its purpose just as long without actually using preservatives. 

Usually I stick to organics, for my parents, but for myself I always choose a select few guilty pleasures, one of them being chocolate pudding. I pick the brand that's on sale this week, and stare at its ingredients for a few moments, before a nasty voice cuts through my concentration-

"Pudding? What are you, five?"

"Is there anywhere I can go to get away from you?" I throw the pudding into the cart and start walking away from Jay.

For some unexpected reason, he follows and catches up to me. "I didn't take you for the leaving-home grocery-shopping type. I figured you'd just stay in your basement and order everything online, like a hermit."

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