Clever Girl

Chapter 27: the importance of so-called education.

Of all the hardships a person had to face, none was more punishing than the simple act of waiting. This was a quote in a book I read long ago, called A Thousand Splendid Suns. while I don't delude myself into thinking Khaled Hosseini was referring to an insignificant moment such as this, I still can't help but let its meaning encompass my reality, even if only for a second. I wait for Jay to approach me, and I wonder, and the anticipation drives me crazy. Why does it seem like he's walking in slow motion? Why am I so caught up in him? 

"Miss Boniadi?" a voice brings me back down to Earth. The Economics teacher is standing by the classroom door, looking at me with curiosity and amusement, "Have you re-enrolled?"

It takes me a second to shift my complete focus away from Jay, "Yes, hi. Sorry. Here's a note from the office. If there's any assignments or tests I've missed, I'll make them up as soon as possible."

"I will be honest with you, Miss Boniadi; you were already failing prior to quitting. Please see me after class, and we can set up a schedule for you to make up the missed assignments, quizzes and tests. You'll have to receive at least a B in all of them, or I will have no choice but to fail you."

Unfortunately this wasn't as much of a cakewalk as Biology had been. Though I'm confident I can complete everything by the end of today, it does take away my time from writing more papers for pay. I give the teacher a weak, straining smile, "Right, of course. I completely understand."

When I try to find Jay again, I can't see him in the crowd. Did he really walk away out of anger, or did he not want to interrupt my conversation with the teacher? It feels like my heart has dropped, if only a millimeter from where it should be, as if missing him somehow made it fall. Stop it, Veronica. He probably had to run to his next class. Stop obsessing.

~

Immanuel Kant once said that genius is the ability to independently arrive at and understand concepts that would normally have to be taught by another person. I'm not sure if I believe that to its fullest. While genius is the exceptional natural capacity of intellect, I do believe that there is a great element of nurture that also contributes to it. If I am so bold as to call myself a genius, or if my parents think I really possess its core purpose, then I owe a lot to them. If they hadn't spent years teaching me about the beauty, science and music of the world, I might have turned out differently.

Genius is varied, evolving, and can often only refer to one thing, as opposed to everything. There are many subjects I don't know the first thing about, and if one were to consider it that way, genius is everywhere. So maybe I should stop caring, like Will said. Maybe all these years I've tried to hide myself were filled with wasted opportunities.  

I'm sitting in the office once again, waiting for Shelley to tell me when I can go in and see Cranston. I twiddle my fingers, tap my toes once in a while, glance around the room to find something to focus on. It's like I'm waiting for a sentencing, like Cranston's about to throw down a ton of detentions. 

"The principal will see you now," Shelley says after getting off a phone call. 

I walk in holding my breath, hoping that it's only a formality, that he's about to welcome me back and leave it at that. Though after walking in, I see Jay sitting there, his back to me. He doesn't turn around. Even from the back, it's like I can feel his eyes scortching through me. 

"Miss Boniadi, I'm very glad to see you back. Please have a seat." Cranston motions to the chair next to Jay, and I sit down reluctantly. "I was thoroughly disappointed when Shelley announced your decision to leave high school, and I have to say I was surprised when she notified me of your return. I still firmly believe that with a little guidance and tutoring, you will graduate with exceptional marks."