Pained

Chapter 3

Catherine's Point of view

As I walked towards my new faction, I felt a burn at the back of my neck. I knew it was from Mother. Everytime my mind would start repeating my reminders, I breathed in deeper. As I sat next to Tobias, he said nothing. He just squeezed my arm. We were free.

Then once the Ceremony was over, we were driven apart. It happened in the blink of an eye, and I lost him. I just took a deep breath and followed my new faction. I took a step to the side and watched as they ran down the stairs. A Dauntless member saw me. He was the one who handed me the knife. His name was Amar, I believe. "You regretting your choice already?" He asked me with a smile on his face.

"No. I'm just admiring," I said and he gave me a confused look.

"Admiring what?"

"Freedom. Power. Strength. I'm just wondering if I have it in me." He gave me another look.

"You do. I can see it," he said giving me his hand. I took it.

Those words meant more to me than he knew. They unlocked something in me that woke up when he handed me the knife. I ran down the stairs and felt freedom like nothing before. Every move they made, and sound I matched. I was one of them. I felt home.

Then I noticed someone watching me. He was the Erudite transfer. His eyes were examining every inch of me. I shrugged it off. I was finally happy, and nothing was going to get in my way.

The doors opened and everyone started running. I could here the train coming. I breathed in. I've never in my life imagined myself running on to that train. I breathed in deeper. Then I ran. With everything in me. Everyone was already on. I jumped. I landed in the middle of the cart. I breathed out. I closed my eyes, and felt the cold metal under me. My hands searched for the warmth within it. I guess I must've stayed that way longer than I thought, because the next thing I knew was a hand about to reach for me. Out of instinct, I jumped to my feet. I must've startled a few of the Dauntless initiates. Because I heard a lot of them gasp in disbelief.

My eyes searched for Tobias. He wasn't there. He must've got into another cart. I kneeled back down. Next to the door. The wind was strong. I did something I've always wanted to do. I let my hair down. Again I heard gasps. Then a memory popped into my head. Of Tobias and I walking back home from school. We must've been fourteen. I remember I asked him something, and his reply was, "they gasp because you're beautiful. It startles them. You make them nervous."

I smiled at the memory of Tobias. I sat there staring out at the city. My hair blowing in the wind. It became a part of me. I felt like a bird. I used to have dreams about being a bird. I was a Raven to be specific. I was free. In control. Nothing could stop me, but me. I defined me.