Pained

Chapter 6

Tobias's Point Of View

I stopped breathing. Adrienne was six times stronger than her. She was more vicious and third on the board. Catherine didn't stand a chance. Adrienne was going to destroy her. They had to fight third, after Eric and Zeke, and Shauna and Rhys. Everyone was nervous about the fight between Adrienne and Raven. Not only because Catherine's never fought anyone who knew what they were doing, but because Adrienne physically disfigured her last two opponents. Adrienne has hated Catherine since day one. First, it was because Catherine was prettier. Then it grew when everyone found out her skills with knives. She didn't seem much of a threat physically. Everyone seemed to forget that I was from Abnegation, but Catherine couldn't escape it.

As Adrienne and Catherine got ready to fight, Adrienne tried to break her mentally. She said to Catherine, "Weak. Dumb. Selfish. Liar. Unworthy." She kept chanting it. Over and Over again. Then the fight started. Adrienne punched Catherine a few times, Catherine fell. Adrienne chanted. Louder and louder, she chanted. I felt my stomach fall. Catherine lay perfectly still. Adrienne chanted. Amar asked, "Raven, you tapping out?" No reply.

Then, Adrienne went down to her ears, and whispered the chant. Then Catherine's eyes popped open. She grabbed Adrienne's head and kneed her in the guts. Adrienne fell startled. Catherine sat on her, and started punching her face. Over and over. "OK, Raven. Enough. You win," Amar said. But she didn't stop. She kept punching her face until Adrienne stopped struggling. She kept punching. "Raven, stop right now!" Amar shouted, but she kept punching. Amar, Eric, and I tried to pull her off, but she kept punching. "Raven," Eric whispered, and she stopped. I grabbed her, and she got up. Amar, Rhys, and Shauna carried Adrienne who was unconscious. I let go of her. Eric and I looked at her. Confused. "Why'd you do that?" I asked confused. She looked at us, and said, "I wanted to break something beautiful." She turned around and left. Then it hit me. That wasn't Catherine. The person who opened their eyes and started punching Adrienne. She wasn't Catherine. Not anymore. That was Raven.

No one saw Raven after that. I heard from Zeke and Shauna that Adrienne was badly injured. No one saw Adrienne nor Raven. That night, I lay in bed thinking about her. Raven. Then I knew where she was. What she was doing, and why no one's seen her since the fight. She was at the bottom of the Chasm. Hating herself. I got out of bed, and headed towards the bottom of the Chasm.

I found her. She was looking out. If I didn't know her, I would've thought that she was peaceful. However, I do know her. I know that she's struggling. I know that she's in pain. I know that she's only known pain her entire life. I know that no matter what I do, I can never make that pain stop. I know these things because I know her. I know her story. I know her Mother. I know that because of her Mother, she will never live without pain. She will never get to know joy or happiness. I know that she will never let anyone know that she's struggling. She will never let anyone know the number of times she's thought about killing herself. Everyday she will put on a smile, and pretend. She pretends, and keeps it all inside because that is how Abigail raised her.

"I know you're there," Raven said without looking back.

"I just wanted to check on you. See how you were doing."

"I saw Mother."

"What? When? Where?" I asked confused.

She looked at me and said. "When I opened my eyes, I saw Mother. During the fight. I don't know what happened to me. I just wanted to hurt her."

"The way she hurt you?" I asked cautiously as I sat next to her.

"I saw her, and all I wanted to do was hurt her. I wanted to show her, make her feel what I feel." She looked away fighting her tears. "And I liked every second of it."

"You know that it isn't your fault. Right?"

She kept talking as if not hearing me. "I didn't even realize where I was. Who I was doing that to. All I knew was that I was there, and Mother was in front of me. Everything else wasn't there. I wasn't going to stop. I didn't want to. Then I heard Eric, and something in me woke up. It was like I was in a trance, then I just woke up." She then looked at me, with tears in her eyes. "What's wrong with me Tobias?"

"Nothing. There's nothing wrong with you," I said as I hugged her. Ever since we were kids, we used to hug as a way of saying, "I'm here. I'm right by your side, and I'm not going anywhere." Every time we needed to hear that or be reminded of it. I couldn't solve her problems. I might never be able too, but if I could make her feel better in this moment, then I will. I knew it was what she needed when she started sobbing into my shirt. I was the only person who has ever seen her cry, because I'm the only one who she has ever put her walls down for. I was the only who knew the real her. The real Raven. The broken Catherine. My healing sister.