Cupcakes at Midnight

Chapter 10

A/N: TW for sexual abuse/rape. Updates will go back to being faithfully on Wednesdays from here until the end. I apologize I've been late/missed some. Thank you for your patience.

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I intentionally lower my voice, trying to sound comfortable and safe, not overly eager. I'm like the goldfish in the tank waiting for flakes of food to fall down to me, only it's her words that can't fall fast enough.

"So, what happened?"

I don't add caveats or give her any more outs. I'm ready to hear what she has to say, and I think she's ready to say it, whatever it is.

Ava sniffles, and I wish she was on my couch with me, that I could comfort her and make the pain go away.

"It's okay," I say. "I'm right here when you're ready to talk."

"What if it changes things? Changes how you see me?"

I weigh that in my head, not wanting to give her the kneejerk response that it's not going to. I want to give her the real answer. We both deserve that.

"It might. What if it changes how I see you for the better?"

She makes a long string of muffled noises.

"Do you want to Uber over?" I ask, not giving her the option to drive.

"Oh god, no. I don't know if I can have this conversation face-to-face with you yet."

"Okay."

A few breaths pass between us.

"I was walking home from the grocery store."

She stops for longer than a beat between sentences, and my heart practically seizes at where she might be going. I don't want her to stop, so I don't dare comment. I let her unroll the story in her own time.

"I didn't see either of them."

A few more breaths pass, shorter than the ones before, and I know she's crying. I think about what I would probably most need to hear in this moment.

"You're okay, Ava. You're safe right now."

"I know," she whispers. "I know."

Again, I have to fight the urge to try and make it all better. I can tell her how much I relate to this story. I could distract her with awful moments from my marriage. Instead, I pet Cat, who clearly knows Ava is on the phone and has curled as close to me as he can get. It's not until I look down at him and several tears drop that I realize I'm crying, too.

"The police said they watched me at the store, they could see it on the video footage, I'd gotten some cash back. They followed me out. I never saw them behind me, but I can't forget what they looked like everywhere else in front of me. They thought I was dead. Left me in an alley, next to the dumpster."

We cry together, and I'm so full of rage, I swear I see red. I have so many questions still, but I leave most of them unasked for the moment.

"My mom had just died, you know?" She sobs, heaving, heavy sobs.

"I'm sorry, Ava. I'm so fucking sorry."

"You came into the bakery a few weeks later, I was mostly healed up. Spent lots of time talking to my shrink and getting onto some good meds for the moment. You were just like this gust of goodness and light. I couldn't help myself. I thought for sure you wouldn't even call or text."

A laugh bubbles up. "How could I not? Have you met yourself?"

She smiles, I can see it even through the phone, and the conversation pauses again.