Seventeen- Sirius

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I walk in the house expecting to find it empty after i saw Remus go off with Tonks the day after the wedding but I'm proven wrong.

"oh- sorry- i-i'll come back later" i stutter, rather taken aback at the sight of Remus' lips on Tonks' neck and his hands up her shirt whilst her hands are intwined in his hair.

"no matter, no matter, i should be going anyway, i'll see you soon Remus. Bye, Sirius" says Tonks mindlessly as she clasps her bra and apparates out of the house, Remus groans

"sorry" i utter half heartedly. He waves me off "well now we have a chance to discuss who's moving out of our room" replies Remus, seemingly annoyed at my interruption. "You stay i'll have the guest room unless you want the guest room" i state "no you can have it i'm ok with that" replies Remus "its sorted then" i say flatly

"right well since i'm not getting laid i'll help you move your stuff" states Remus "well you got laid last night so you can't really complain" i reply, he glares at me "don't get the ass with me, moony, you should've put a tie on the door or something to signal for me not to come in, i wasn't expecting you to be screwing my cousin hours after screwing me" i add

his glare contorts then into a seemingly confused scowl "look, padfoot, last night was a mistake it wasn't meant to happen" begins Remus "i told you to tell me to stop when you wanted and you never did" i remind him "besides its none of your business who i have sex with" continues Remus, ignoring my reminder

"perhaps it is when its my cousin" i reply "Sirius, i get you're upset about the break up and that's fine but don't judge me for getting laid- or almost getting laid anyway" says Remus, i scoff

"sorry i should've started kissing people before we broke up as well" i say before i can stop myself "that's not fair" says Remus "what do you mean that's not fair? that's what you did!" i exclaim

"Sirius its not fair that you're bringing that up out of nowhere" states Remus, i huff "well if you hadn't have made that snarky comment of not getting laid we wouldn't be arguing, would we?" i ask

"i was just annoyed ok?" states Remus in an irritated tone "well that makes both of us. now if you don't mind, i'm going to move my stuff to the guest room if you want to help then by all means be my guest, if not then go" i say sternly

"what could you possibly be annoyed about?" asks Remus, obviously not finished arguing

"i'm annoyed about everything, Remus. I'm annoyed that you kissed someone else, that you broke up with me, that you're presumably going out with my cousin. I'm annoyed because you moved on so quickly. I'm annoyed because I'm upset over something i knew was too good to be true. I'm annoyed because all we do now is argue. I'm annoyed because you said last night was a mistake. I'm annoyed about everything, Remus" i reply angrily

Remus seems rather taken aback at my small outburst but i don't care "Sirius i-" Begins Remus but i stop him "if you're going to apologize then save it, I don't wanna hear it, Remus. I don't want your sympathy. Now, I'm going to move my stuff into the guest room" i state as i walk away, making sure not to give Remus a chance to retort.

as i get in to what used to be mine and Remus' bedroom i start angrily sorting things into piles. I then see someone else in the room, Remus. He came to help. We regard each other, neither of us saying a word, the silence growing thicker as time wears on.

"Sirius, I'm sorry" says Remus, i nod, not knowing what to say. For a moment, we're just staring into each other's eyes, each of us afraid to look away in fears of returning to reality and before i know it his lips are on mine.

i pull away

"Remus, no, i- i can't. I can't just be another one night stand. Not with you" i state, Remus nods "i-i know i'm sorry" states Remus, i nod once more, this time avoiding his gaze.

this hurts too much. My heart is shattering more and more just us being in close proximity with one another. His lips on mine moments ago, how i wish i could've savored the moment, alas, i had to be the bigger person and prevent what could've been more heartbreak.

i'm sorry

the words ring through my ears and linger on in my mind as we sort out my possessions in silence. An apology. It's all just empty words at the end of the day. Empty meaningless words.

i'm sorry

two words, seven letters, three syllables. All of which mean nothing. All of which are an empty, meaningless, useless way of a person trying to make up for their wrongdoings

we finish the last of moving my stuff some two hours later and we both still remain silent

"fuck" says Remus "this silence is killing me. Come on, Padfoot. We were best friends before, we used to be peas in a pod, granted not as much as you and James but still" continues Remus, i chuckle dryly "Remus, don't you see why? We were always together because that's what we always wanted, we wanted at the time to be together and so we chose what was closest to our wishes and that was close friendship. The only reason we were always in each others pockets was because we loved each other. As much as we are still friends I feel that what we had may well impact what's to come" i reply

recognition and understanding washes over Remus' face and we resume silence.

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Hello there my lovelies!

so there's some tension...

i'm really sorry for this sort of angsty content but i'm unpredictable so who knows what could happen?

anyways, thank you all for all your love and support i love you all

have a beautiful day you wonderful specimens :))

stay safe
stay wonderful
stay smiling
stay strong
stay rainbow!

all my love, Blue xxx

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