Twenty- Remus

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i get back to the house to find Nymphadora Tonks waiting for me at my doorstep

"hey, Remus" says Nymphadora seductively, i let her in the house but with intentions most different to hers "hey, Tonks, can we talk?" i ask, her smile falters at the question but she nods and we sit on the couch

"look, whatever this is has been wonderful but at the same time i realise that this can't continue. The world is changing, dangerous things are approaching, I'm most likely to be getting tasks to do that will mean i'm away for long periods of time and after all i feel i'm rather old for you. I'm sorry Tonks but this has to end" i state, she gapes at me for a moment, genuine sadness in her eyes before she swallows and nods

"yeah, um, maybe it's best, i-i can't do long distance anyway so..thanks i guess" says Tonks but before i can say anything she's gone.

At that moment, Sirius appears just inches away from the spot in which Tonks disappeared "who was that who just left?" asks Sirius "Tonks" i reply

"i- oh...um did i interrupt again?" Asks Sirius nervously. There have been too many times where Sirius has accidentally walked in on me and Tonks but i shake my head "i ended whatever it was we had, seems stupid to continue a relationship when our best friends are going into hiding and the Order is finally going to be an active group rather than a safety net" i reply

"right then" says Sirius, we stare at each other for a while. Staring is never good. Staring always leads to intimacy with Sirius, I stand up so I tower over Sirius by a few inches but we never break eye contact before the space between us closes in and his lips are on mine

"Remus" says Sirius, i groan inwardly and we pull away momentarily "what?" i ask "shouldn't we do this upstairs" replies Sirius, i smirk, his arms still around my neck, i peck his lips one last time before stating "Jump" he does as i say and jumps, wrapping his legs around my waist, i resume our snogging session as j carry Sirius up the stairs. I know the routine, we do this, pretend it never happened the next day and repeat whenever it happens

i kiss down his neck as he unbuttons my shirt and we pull away for him to take it off and for me to take his shirt off. I run my fingers through his chin length black curls as he kisses my neck, leaving marks aa he goes. I kiss down his abdomen and he grips my hair, i smirk on his skin.

the next morning i wake up spooning Sirius Black but i don't hesitate to move, or get out of bed, it's so warm, so comfortable, so homey. I feel safe wrapped around him when over a year ago i would've felt trapped. Maybe I just needed time to realise where my heart truly belonged

and of course my heart decided to make up its mind at the beginning of a fucking war. Fan-fucking-tastic

I contemplate doing it, asking Sirius if he wanted to give our relationship another go, but as i lay here with my arms around him, i see how peaceful he is and I realise that if i were to get back with him to suddenly decide that I wasn't sure whether it was what i wanted again i know i'd break him

the last thing i want is to do more damage than i've already done.

i push curls back behind Sirius' ear and gently caress his cheek, smiling as i watch how calm and collected he is in his sleep "morning" croaks Sirius in a husky morning voice which makes me melt "morning" i reply nibbling on his ear

"after morning sex are you, moony?" teases Sirius. yes. "i don't know, am i?" i ask as i kiss down his neck. He gets up "unfortunately, you forget that we have our first Order meeting today and so we need to get ready" states Sirius.

this is where the pretending-that-we-didn't-just-have-sex-last-night-and-almost-had-sex-this-morning facade begins. Fan-fucking-tastic

Sirius and I get out of bed, Sirius grabbing his clothes from last night and taking them with him to his room.

i sigh and watch as he leaves, holding my head in my hand and groaning once he's gone. Why did i ever break up with him? Because you thought you were in love with Nymphadora Tonks you fucking twat.

i decide to just get up and get dressed and die inside. i get on some shabby black robes and wait for Sirius downstairs so we can leave together.

Sirius arrives in the living room five minutes after me "ready to go?" I ask, he nods and we disapparate.

we find ourselves seconds later on the pavement at the end of the road in which the Order's meeting place is.

we walk down the street to find what seems like an abandoned barn. We walk towards the door and stop before it, knowing better than to just walk right in, that is if we prefer to keep our bodies whole and live on a while longer

"password" says the low but familiar voice of Alistor Moody "Witherwings" i reply quietly "names" says Alistor

"Sirius Black and Remus Lupin" I reply "Sirius Black what were the first words i said to you?" asks Alistor, i sigh

"My name is Alistor Moody, don't try and play tricks with me I know you're every move, don't underestimate me, Sirius Black" i reply, he seems satisfied with my answer "Remus Lupin in school which place would you visit every full moon?" asks Alistor "The Shrieking Shack" replies Remus.

we obviously answered correctly because Alistor opens the barn door and lets us in.

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Hello there my lovelies!

how are you all? i hope y'all are well. I'm more of an angst writer so sorry for all the emotions but i think this book is nearing its last maybe 5 chapters i think and i might then go back to greys fanfiction depending on if i can think of anything

anyways, thank you for all your love and support i love you all!

have a beautiful day you wonderful specimens :))

stay strong
stay safe
stay wonderful
stay smiling

and most importantly, stay rainbow my loves!

all my everlasting love, Blue xxx

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