Seeking Forgiveness ~ Serenate Story

THE LETTER

Here you go with chapter 2.

I don't see any response to this story here and it really hurts me.

Any way I'll still continue  to post this story here.

You can also find SF on  Fanfiction.net

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Hi, Guys

I know you all don't want to hear anything from me. And it's only fair if I don't say anything too. So, I just wanna say sorry. Sorry for all the times I have hurt you. Sorry for not caring for anyone's feeling than mine. You all said it right I am a selfish bitch who cares only about herself. I am a worst sister, worst friend and a worst girlfriend.

I can't take back what I did and all the pain that I have caused you all. But I can assure you that from today, tonight, this second onwards I am setting you all free from any ties that we ever had. I am putting you all behind me and going away, far, far away from everyone, to where that even I don't know. But I assure you from now onwards I won't be the one causing any problems in your lives. I will go somewhere where nobody knows me.

I want you all to stay happy and if I leave will make you all happy so that will be it. I am leaving. I know you guys loved me but I request you guys to never look for me.

Chuck, please take care of Blair. She loves you more than anyone else in this world and Blair, always stay with Chuck because you are meant to be together. Blair, you wrote me a letter last time but never sent. But if I ever write a letter I will send it to you because letting go off our friendship will be hard, very hard for me.

Nate, you are the only person who ever loved me for who I was. I wish I had seen it before. I just want to say that there must be someone waiting for you, who will love you the way you loved me and when you find that someone do not hold back. I love you, Nate, I always have and I always will but I am not the right woman for you.

I will never comeback. Coming back last time was a mistake and I will not repeat it again. You will never hear about me from anyone. And soon you all will forget me like I ever existed. I was never good in saying goodbyes. But I am trying. I am learning. It will be hard for me to stay away and not talk but I guess with time I will learn that too.

Good bye

Serena Van Der Woodsen

"So, she did say a goodbye this time." Blair mockingly said and the boys shake their heads in agreement. "But this doesn't answer the gossip girl post." Nate commented. He was sure gossip girl wouldn't post anything without a reason. It's been 5 years since this messed up gossip website posted anything about Serena. "I think we should just wait for Lily. I am sure she will clear our doubts." Chuck suggested and they all went inside the building to wait for the Van der Woodsens to return.

After five years Blair and Nate stepped inside the Van der Woodsen penthouse. They looked around to take in the feeling of this house which once was like their second home ever since they could remember. The three of them were always together before the tragic Shephard wedding and after one year when Serena returned they were one of those frequent visitors to this place. But today after 5 years they stepped into this house and they could feel nothing but nostalgic and loneliness. The house isn't what it used to be. It lacked Serena's presence. There were several pictures hung on the wall right in-front of the elevator. They were pictures of the Van der Woodsen family and people close to them. There were pictures of them also. Chuck and Blair's marriage picture, Serena and Nate's picture from Chuck and Blair's marriage, there were some recent pictures too of Eric and some guy. But there were no pictures of Serena since she was gone five years ago. They kind of felt guilty about banishing her. She didn't even came back to attend her parent's marriage vows recital ceremony.

Nate went further inside the house towards Serena's room across the hall. He searched for anything which could give him her feeling but there wasn't any. It has been five years but nothing inside Serena's room was changed. It was exactly like before just was covered with white sheets. It felt like the room was waiting for her return, her family was waiting for her to return. He felt like something was piercing his heart and lone tear fell from his eye thinking about the level of pain that her family must be feeling since she was gone. He went inside the room and sat on her bed and he could feel her there. He closed his eyes and let the tears fall. He was getting emotional. He was missing her. He had never been this broken since four years. It took him one full year to get over her. To accept that she was gone and she won't be coming back. But right now sitting here in her room he felt his heart breaking again. He loved her, he loved her so much and it hurts so much that he couldn't stop her.

He saw their picture on her night stand it was their picture from the time when they told their families that they were engaged. Serena had kept her hand on his chest and was flashing her engagement ring, the great Van der Bilt ring and he had simply embraced her in his arms. They both were smiling so hard. He picked up the frame from the night stand and saw a box and letter with his name written over it. He opened the box first to see what was in there and saw a ring. He opened the letter and read

Dearest Natie,

Two days ago you gave me my life's biggest happiness by asking me to spend my entire life with you. I was waiting ever since for you to ask me. And today I want to ask you whether you want to spend your whole life with me? Would you want to grow old with me, have children with me and probably die with me? Will you marry me Nate?

Xoxo, Serena.

More tears fell from his eyes when he read this letter and saw that ring which she bought for him. She wanted propose to him. And instead he broke her heart by not trusting her when she asked him to trust her. He stood there not speaking anything. He hugged the frame in his hand and cried, cried his heart out. He promised her would never leave her alone and he had broken that promise five years ago. And now he doesn't know where she was and god forbid if the gossip girl post is true then he doesn't even know whether she is alive or not. The mere thought of her being dead felt like he died a thousand deaths.

Blair and Chuck came inside the room when they heard him crying. Nate's sight broke their hearts into thousand pieces and they came running towards him and sat beside him and caressed his back. "Nate, what is it?" Blair asked him softly. She was worried about what exactly made him this emotional. Nate didn't say anything and handed him the ring box and the Serena's letter. She read the letter and saw the ring and her heart broke again. Her judgments about Serena were proven wrong again.

Blair always considered Serena to be the one who would always run away whenever she wanted to avoid any situation. When Serena ran away five years ago she was convince that she was right again. She with the help of Jenny convinced Nate that this is who Serena is, a runner. And now this letter proved her wrong. She wanted to stay and live a long life with Nate and her friends. She wanted to settle down and not run away. But instead she, Blair Waldorf-Bass made her run away. She looked at Chuck with tears in her eyes and Chuck had tears too. He sat beside Blair and pulled her in a comforting hug. They all sat on Serena's bed thought what were their mistakes which took her away from them? Which made her leave again when all she wanted was to stay?

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Until Next Time,

Meg