Working with Gibbs (a NCIS story)

Chapter 15: inner demons part 2

A/N: see? Told you it'd be longer
-very late a day or two later, Gibbs residence-
Grace was awoken rather abruptly by movement next to her.  She turned and saw that Gibbs was shifting in the bed.  She could tell almost immediately from her own past experiences what was going on - nightmare, and judging by the sweat gathering on his forehead, it was a bad one. 
"Jethro, wake up" she said softly, trying to not startle him, but that didn't help.  She then made a bold move and shook his shoulder gently, but that turned out to be a bad idea.  Next thing she knew, she was flat on her back with him looming over her and his hand on her chest.  "Gibbs, it's me" she said, louder this time and that seemed to snap him out of it.  He immediately got off of her and moved to the edge of the bed.  She was hesitant to touch him again, so she waited in silence.  When he spoke, it was so soft she could barely hear.
"They died because of me..."
"What do you mean?" She asked, not wanting to press for details, and when he didn't reply, she figured he'd tell her when he was ready to. 
"My first wife, Shannon...and my 8 year old daughter, Kelly...they were killed several years ago, while I was away on tour." Her heart broke when she heard that but wasn't about to ask for more details. 
"I'm sorry...I can't imagine..." was all she said. 
"It gets worse...I went after the man that killed them...and I killed him." She was shocked, but not really surprised.  She could see him as the shoot first and ask questions later type of man.  There was one question that she had to ask, however.
"Does anyone else know about this?" She asked quietly, and he shook his head no in reply.  "Then no one else will know about this...not until you're ready for it to be" she continued, putting a hand on his shoulder again, and he turned to face her. 
"And what do you think?"
"I think...you did what you thought was the right thing to do.  You avenged your family, and probably prevented many other families from the same fate.  You're a strong man, Gibbs, having went through what you did." She paused for a moment before continuing.  "And if you thought it'd make me think different or less of you, you're wrong, so just get those thoughts out of your head"
"How'd you know I was thinking that?"
"Seriously? I could tell by the look on your face.  Besides...I've had those thoughts before myself..." she replied. 
"Does this have something to do with what happened the other day?"
"Yeah...actually, it does" she said, downcast.  She then proceeded to tell him about the last case she worked with KSP before she started with NCIS.  Abridged version: an officer was in danger during an investigation, so when she had the shot she took it, and she was punished for it.  By the time she was done telling the story, she was looking down at her hands. 
"Hey, look at me" she heard him say and she looked up at him.  "You were doing what you thought was right, and if they couldn't see that, you didn't need to be working for them anyways."
"I've been telling myself that since then, but it hasn't helped much..."
"Well, maybe you needed someone else to tell you that.  You know who you are?" At her head shake, he placed a hand on the side of her face.  "You are a strong, beautiful woman, and no matter what goes through your mind, that's who you are, so never forget that."
"You know the same goes for you, right?" She asked, smiling at him.  "No matter what you did back then, it doesn't matter now, it doesn't define you.  What defines you is all the good you're doing now and what you'll continue to do" there was silence between them for a moment.
"I love you" he told her, finally smiling back at her.
"I love you too" she replied.  He took her face in his hands and drew her closer, kissing her.  She put her arms around his neck, deepening it, and then...well, let's just say they didn't go back to sleep for a few hours...