The Melancholic Senior

Chapter 8 Zaire's POV

That night when my mother appeared suddenly, I was almost sucked into oblivion. I've always been known to black out whenever we are in the same space, but I did not want to let Becka see me that way so I summoned all my strength and prevented it from occurring. 

I have been to countless Psychologist and Psychiatrist who were the best at what they do, but not one was able to ascertain a logical reason for my constant meltdown.

 Some were suggesting that I was suffering from some childhood trauma, but even when I did hypnosis sessions, they were not able to pinpoint the root cause. If you ask me they were left more confused more than anything else.

They were insinuating that maybe I didn't want to unlock that door as their idiosyncratic suggestions during therapy sessions couldn't penetrate the inner wall that I had created.

From then on, I've just decided that whatever it was, It was the reason for me being this meticulous and analytic so maybe in my subconscious, I really didn't want to resolve the issues that made me into a melancholic person.

After making up with Becka that night, I felt like I could accomplish anything with her by my side. I've even thought about giving therapy sessions a second thought as I was becoming more afraid of her seeing me in one of my meltdown episodes. 

Just a few days ago, I had a close call and that was because Scott was there as well. What am I going to do if we happened to encounter here again and I have to face her head on? These are just a few things that kept occupying my thoughts from our trip at the guest house.

 I don't know what it is about her but; one thing I know for certain is that being around her makes me calm and I feel obligated to explain myself whenever I leave her feeling confused. I know we've only known each other for a few months, but I've never been so sure about my feelings for a girl in a long while.

During the exam period, I have made sure to secure a few glimpses of her sitting the exams before I left for home every day with my grading partner Amber. 

I thought that if I didn't see her I would die of curiosity, as I wondered if she was doing alright and Tyler wasn't the best source to solicit information from as he was too dramatic. 

I even took a few pictures of her when she wasn't looking and even then, her beauty still stood out. As I watched her daily, how my thoughts ran wild as the feelings I had for her overwhelmed my body. 

I longed to kiss those lips that tasted so good and embrace her slender body in my arms. Our bodies would rub against each other provoking reactions and promoting wild thoughts. I longed for her sweet scent that she leaves every time in my car and on my clothes.

But I promised myself that I would keep my distance as I didn't want anyone to start speculating that she was successful because of my help.

 Everyone at the school already knew that she was beautiful, but in fact, all the girls here were. However, I needed her to be known for something else....Like for her brain or IQ level. 

I didn't want her to be placed in the same category as the other girls I've been fooling around with because an eternity or more spent with them is nothing compared to spending a single day with her .... 

"What are you looking at?" Amber asked one day while hugging me from behind. 

"Just...." I said a I shrugged my shoulders.

I then turned to face her who was smiling brightly at me. 

"Are you hungry?" I inquired.

I noticed she didn't eat anything up until now and we had a long day ahead of us.