ill always be here (bokuaka)

Coming out

"Keiji are you sure about doing this?" Kou asked me for what felt like the 1000th time. 

"Yes, I'm sure. I'm ready to come out." I said, and put my hand on his cheek. "It's going to be fine. Okay?" 

"I know, but still. How are you so calm right now?"

"I'm really not, I'm scared, but I feel like I've got to do this, okay?"

"Okay." He gave me a kiss for good luck and we walked in the gym. 

I had come back to school a week ago now. My leg was more or less fully healed,  but I still had to take it slightly easy. I certainty couldn't run as fast as I could before, but my leg will soon get stronger. I decided to wait until practice ended before saying anything. I wanted people to be able to practice without me interrupting them. I set to koutaro, who spiked the balls happily. I smiled a little to myself. I love his smile. 

After practice, kou was talking about how we have a practice match coming up next week with nekoma again. Everyone cheered. Nekoma is a good opponent. "OH! I almost forgot! Akaashi! You wanted to tell the team something!" I swallowed, nervous, as kou pulled me to my feet. "Hey, it'll be okay. Don't worry. You've got this." He said, giving me his signature grin. I nodded and took a deep breath.

"I've been keeping this secret for a long time now, and It's time I come clean to everyone here. A couple people here already know, but I think it's time I told everyone here. I... I'm trans." Everyone was silent, looking at me. "And I know, a lot of people think it's gross. And I know, you probably think I'm gross. But It's time it was said." Things remained silent for a few more seconds before ahahori spoke.

"Well that's cool. As long as your comfortable as yourself, I really dont see an issue." He said shrugging. 

"Honestly, that explains a lot." wataru said furrowing his brow. "But no matter. You're valid to me." 

People spoke in agreement, and I came close to crying. I've never felt this accepted. This loved. Not even in my own home. Well, my old home. Kou wrapped his arms around me, pulling me in for a hug. I held his arms and smiled. "You see? I told you it'd be okay!" He said smiling and placing a kiss on the top of my head, receiving a chorus of 'awws' and 'finally's from the team. A few more teammates joined in the hug, making it a group hug, and I couldn't hold back my tears or smile. 

So this is what it's like to belong. To be part of something great.

A family.