It wasn't meant to be you

Chaptet twenty

Three weeks had passed now, and I visited her again. They told me that they had no way to predict if she would wake up or if she would not, it made me angry, angry with the world and angry with Him. I had found her, and He took her away from me, even though she wasn't gone yet, she could, she could either wake up, or she could just stay like that forever. I started doubting in him, because if he was so powerful then why couldn't he stop the bad things from happening. Why did people die, why were there sicknesses, why were there people who killed others, why? I had a million more questions, and He never answered, which was another one of my questions, if he cared about us so much and watched over us, then why did he never answer, he never answered my prayers, and I had never talked to him. Prayer they say is a way of talking to God, communicating with Him, but I can't communicate if he never answered me.

Four weeks, I had been keeping track of every day that passed, every night I thought about her, and hoped she would wake up. Even though four weeks had passed, I hadn't given up on her yet, I hoped she would wake up every night, and every morning I woke up to see that God had not given her, the miracle she deserved. And the days started to go by unnoticed, when before they passed so slowly, now, all I did was be with her, and the days went and went by, it worried me, but it also meant that she was closer to waking up. At least that's what I liked to tell myself.

Four weeks and six days, almost five, which meant that she had one more week to wake up, that day I came by the hospital and saw her, lying there with a tube in her nose so she could breathe, and the monitor beeping, meaning that she was still in there.

"How are you doin' today?" I asked her, and again I waited for her to answer. I wondered if she heard me, if she would remember hearing me when she woke up, or if she would even want to be with me. I tried not to cry in front of her, even though she couldn't see me, she needed me to be strong, to be strong for her while she was strong. She was still alive, and I should me grateful for that, but I needed her to breathe on her own, to answer me. I cried, and I cried so hard. "Please Emma, I need you here. It's almost six weeks now, and I don't know what they might decide to do to you when those weeks are past. Please, please come back" I kept sobbing to her, telling her to come back to me. And nurse Susan came in

"Oh Chris" I was in the chair beside her, my head was down on her hand, and my hand was holding hers.

"What if she doesn't wake up nurse?" I cried, "I don't know what they will do to her, promise me- promise me you'll keep her safe. Don't let anything happen to her"

"I can't promise you th-"

"Promise me!" I screamed at her, I didn't mean it, I was just mad at the world and took it out on her, "please" I whispered and went back to laying my head down. "I need her to wake up"

"Chris... I'll try, but I have the same amount of power in this situation as you do"

"No, you don't, you can say that she will wake up and tell them to wait a little longer"

"I could, but I don't know that for sure, and even if I did tell them that I couldn't change their mind. Besides, they haven't told you anything yet, maybe they want to wait a while longer too, she's their daughter you know"

"I know they will want to let her go, I just know it" I left the hospital with that gut feeling, and it was scary, so scary. I would never lose faith in her, and I would do everything I could to keep her with me.