It wasn't meant to be you

Chapter twenty-four

Funeral day. The day we were all dreading. I still didn't know if she wanted to go to the funeral, so that day I showed up a little more dressed up, and visited her just like I did every other day. If she wanted to go I would take her there and hold her, and if she didn't I would stay with her and support her. I would be with her either way, and I would support any decision she decided to make.

As I walked in to her room I saw her sitting on the edge of her bed, she was holding a black, turtle neckline, knee-high, dress, which I assumed was for the funeral, she was debating her options and weighing which one was the lesser of two evils. She hadn't noticed me come in, so I walked toward her and sat on her right, she had seen me, still her eyes didn't move from the dress, I saw tears welling up in her eyes, and her gaze turned toward me, we looked at each other for a moment before she looked ahead into the window and laid her head on my shoulder,

"I'm still lost" I didn't answer her, instead I let her words hang in the air, and after a moment I said to her

"I know... You wanna know what I think" she looked confused and turned to look up at me, nodding slowly "I think that you should go, I will support you either way, but maybe you'll regret it later, because after all she is your grandma, and I believe you owe it to her to show up to her funeral and properly say goodbye to her, she deserves that, and you need it to, to have that closure on your grandma, plus, you'll be with me, and no one will look at you weirdly or say they knew her when they really didn't, you tell me who you know really knew her and who didn't and I'll be there right beside you so no one will ruin it for you. I want you to go for you, and for her, not because you're scared of how people might react" She looked surprised for a second, before she wiped the tears off her face and stood up.

"I'm gonna go" She said, not so much to me as to herself, "Thank you" She said before she went into the bathroom to get changed.

Once she was finished and came out, I couldn't help but wonder at her beauty once again, at how beautiful she was in that dress, and at how it made her eyes pop up. It was the first time I had seen her wear a dress, I realized. I walked to her and grabbed her hand, intertwining her fingers with mine and said to her in a whisper,

"Let's go" we walked out of that room together and went down the stairs to the parking lot, where my car was parked in the spot number C13, one that I had become very fond of over the weeks that I had come, and as we climbed into the car, I her nervously touch her hands and shake her leg. I grabbed her hand and whispered

"She would want you to be there" She smiled slightly at this and I felt her relax, I pressed her hand and started driving off. I didn't let go of her the whole ride there, she became more nervous the closer we got, when this happened I held her hand tighter and told her something I knew would make her feel better.

I immediately felt all eyes on us when we stepped into the church were the service would be, it was a very small one, one that I had never been to before, but from the looks of Emma she had. I tried to shield her from all the eyes and pity looks and could tell she was grateful, nevertheless I didn't know if it had worked.

In the far end of the room in a white decorated coffin lied her grandma, she looked healthier and younger than I had remembered and had a beautiful white dress, with length a little below the knees, sleeves before the elbow and a straight neckline. It had various layers, she had a plain white one and then one with little flowers on it, the kind of dress she would own. On her hand was a gold wedding ring, and she had a single flower on her, it was a sunflower, and I wondered what that meant, I saved that question for later in my mind and watched her look at her grandma. She had tears welling up in her eyes, and her lips were curved, like trying to resist crying, I held her hand, showing her that it was okay with a reassuring smile.

The rest of the night was pretty much the same, people lookin in pity to others and crying in every corner of the room and people at her coffin looking at her and crying, Emma I believe was the strongest one there, she was probably the person closest to her grandma, but in spite of that, she was the only one who was not crying. She had cried before, by her coffin, just one tear that had slipped, she wiped it off and we were on our way.

She grabbed my arm and said to me, "I want to go"

"Okay... c'mon" I grabbed her hand and led the way out the front door and to my car. Once we were safely inside, she broke down and just cried. I understood that she had wanted to be strong for her grandma, and part for herself. I leaned over and hugged her, I kissed her forehead and held her. As she cried rain started pouring down, it looked like maybe a thunderstorm would form, I didn't care, I would stay with her until she was ready to go.

She looked up at the sky and screamed "Why! Huh! SHE DESERVED A GOOD FUNERAL! AND ALL YOU COULD COME UP WITH IS A THUNDERSTORM?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU! SHE LIVED BY ALL OF YOUR STUPID RULES AND PRAYED EVERYDAY FOR OTHERS! SHE WAS THE MOST SELFLESS PERSON I KNOW, AND YOU GIVE HER THIS AS A LITTLE PRESENT ON HER FUNERAL. WELL THAT JUST PORVES THAT YOU DON'T DESERVE SOMEONE LIKE THAT TO BELIEVE IN YOU SO DEEPLY. IT'S FULL OF CRAP, EVERYTHING THEY TEEL US IN SCHOOL ABOUT GOD HEARING US, WELL HEAR ME! I HATE YOU!!!!" She looked at me and tried to push me away, she put her hand to my chest and said "AND YOU! GO AWAY, I DON'T NEED YOU TO HELP ME, I'M FINE ON MY OWN, SO GO AWAY" I knew she didn't mean it, she was just upset, I had said thing I regret when I'm upset, hurt people I would never hurt.

So I looked at her and held her tighter, "I'm not going anywhere, Emma" I said in a whisper to her, she looked at me with tear filled eyes and said,

"Yes, you are. I don't deserve everything you've done for me, everything I put you through, no one should have to go through that, you waited for me for seven weeks while I was in a coma, visited me and held my hand, you hugged me when I most needed you and had my back"

"I would go to the ends of the earth for you, Emma" I made signs with my hands at this, "and I will always be there for you, because I love you, more than I thought was possible, and I'm not letting you go again, so you better get used to me, Smith, because I'm here to stay this time. Okay? I love you" I kissed her on the forehead and kissed her again, I wasn't waiting for an answer, I didn't need one.

After a moment she looked up at me and said "I love you, too" When she said this, I felt like everything was going to be fine, because I had her with me, and that was all I needed.

The End.