Don't let me down

Twelve

Brook

Suddenly I started waking up due to someone familiar whispering and talking here.

I'll I could hear was some wispers and chats. I couldn't open my eyes, they felt too heavy.

The last thing I remember right now is that Billie calmed me down and probably I felt asleep.

"Hey Bill wake up" I heard someone whispering to the sleeping Billie next to me and realised it was just Finn.

Then I felt him sat on the bed beside Billie and me. I was now pretending I was sleeping so they could keep talking without me bothering them.

"Now please tell me everything what happened" I heard Finn saying enough loud for Billie and me to hear.

"She called me and said she needed me as she was crying and trying to steady her breathing when I arrived I found her o-on the bathroom s-shaking and c-crying somehow I m-managed to calm her down and now she's asleep she didn't told me what happened and she was like this" Billie said in one breath sounding like she wanted so bad to cry.

Now I feel even more bad that Billie is sad because of me. It's my fault. I will never forgive me for make Billie cry.

"Hey hey slow down it's okay we are gonna go through this together" Finn said softly and I just wanted to break down right there hearing that.

"I know I know.... I need some fresh air" Billie said sounding a lot of sad and worried.

I don't want them to worry about me they have their own problems to worry about they can't just worry about mine too.

"Let's go out and let Brook sleep how that sounds?" He weakly said to Billie and I think she nodded cause she just didn't say anything.

After that I felt both of them getting up and then heard the door closing.

With that I immediately opened my eyes and slowly sit up on Billie bed groaning.

I now have the urge to do something bad to me. Hurt me. I wanna feel something.

You may wonder why I do it if it's painful. That the whole point of it the pain.

And then I remembered that I always have a blade on my phone case.

I grabbed my phone from Billies nightstand and pulled out the case to pick the blade.

I think I'm gonna go for my hand near my shoulder, my thighs are full right now.I lifted my sleeve up and for some minutes I was just staring at my skin.

Without thinking anything I pressed the blade against my untouched skin deeply.

I made the first line and now I only want more. I was watching as the blood was coming out of this scar.

I couldn't hold myself, I just kept cutting my arm multiple times.

Then I dragged the blade against my skin very fast and deep. I saw that scar turning white as it was deeper than usual.

My mouth was wide open as I couldn't believe what just happened.

Just now I realised what power that blade hides on the inside instead of an odd lighter.