Don't let me down

Thirteen

Brook

The balcony had a wooden chair left there so I just sat down gazing the forest as waiting for George to arrive.

Then the whole situation with Billie appeared in my mind again.

I feel kinda bad that I left her there without saying anything. I'm a bad sister.

Having a bunch of scars, burns on every part of your body isn't fucked up? Wanting to throw up everything you eat cause you feel fat and ending not eating anything isn't fucked up? Hating yourself so fucking much that you have that urge to do something bad to you isn't fucked up?

What I said earlier keeps coming on my mind. How did I ended so fucked up? Damn.

I have to admit that it isn't completely the girls fault that I'm like that.

They may bully me all the time they see me but they just say bad things to me that made me look at myself differently.

If I was strong enough i wouldn't believe everything bad they say about me. I wouldn't start self harming and I wouldn't hate myself if I simply didn't listen to them.

I would stop eating because they said I'm fat and I need to loose weight.

So to say it's my fault that I'm fucked up like that.

I'm not brave enough to face them and prove them the opposite.

I sadly believe everything bad they say about me, and not only them now I'm insecure and care about all the people think about me.

Well at least I didn't tell Billie about my suicidal thoughts even though she will find out that to eventually like everybody. And I hate that.

"Hey Brook! How do I get inside?" I heard George saying loud so I can hear him as he interrupted my horrible thoughts.

"There's a damn door you fool" I said and got up and walked over to the door opening it wide.

He walked inside the house amazed by it's beauty just like I did.

"God it's really magical as you said! I've never seen something that beautiful" he said while looking around the house observing every single detail of it.

"I know right!? That forest it's really beautiful and that house is so dreamy" I in agreement of what he said.

I can use this fairy house to forget my sadness if I'm feeling sad which is always.

Really the view of this forest makes me almost forget everything that's going on on my life right now.

We walked over to the balcony and I said on the chair I was sitting and George grabbed a chair from the other side and sat beside me.

I was starring at the forest as a comfortable silence had taken over.

I felt George looking at me from my side, I'm sure he noticed something wrong.

"What happened? How did you find that forest? I can sense something's off" he said softly and I looked at him sadly and sighed.

"I accidentally told Billie everything and I mean everything , I didn't mean too.." I said loud enough for him to hear me.