Found Hearts

22. Found Fears

"I am not going Latika"

"Yes, this would look perfect on you" I made a horrified expression on the dress she was holding in her hands.

"When did you even buy that ?!" I asked wide-eyed.

"I have sufficient stock just for occasions like these" she winked at me and laid the dress on her bed.

"No No No. I am definitely not going. And even if I was, I wouldn't go wearing that"

"Yes you would. You're talking like you never wear short dresses" she rolled her eyes.

"Sun dresses. I wear sun dresses. I never wore anything like that" I said staring at that dress again.

No doubt it was classy. And my inner selves was tugging at me to just go with it. To just accept that I want to wear that.

"But it'd look good on you. In fact it'd look sensual on you"

"What if I don't want to look sensual ?" I ask with a raise of my eye brow and she looks at me like I've suddenly grown two heads.

"Why not ?"

I huff settling down on her bed, and take the dress from her hand. It was a black skin tight dress that'll almost touch the upper area of my knees, with a little slit in the middle at the back. The dress was cut from mid, to show off ribs, and had spaghetti straps. It was good no doubt. Really really good.

"And you should be thankful that you have a good hair day today. We just need to ruffle them up a bit. With red matt lipstick, and a smoky eye look. You're good to go."

I grin up at Latika. She was right. That would be more than good to go. At any other time I would have been hyped up to get and go, especially if I'm being provided with the opportunity to dress up like that. But the thing was today I couldn't bring myself to get excited about it.

I should at least try to look like I can't wait to celebrate Jeet's birthday. Although Latika's own enthusiasm was contagious, even that wasn't enough to contaminate me.

You must be wondering the reason for my oh-so-low level of dopamine. It was in fact, the absence of certain someone from my life since the last 4 days.

Yep, I can't believe I was actually admitting to it.

But I was missing Kabir to the point that I couldn't bring myself to focus on anything else besides him. He had gone to Bangalore for an urgent meeting that required his physical presence. From the way he looked so rushed, yet a little bit excited, I knew how important it was for him. And how much busy it would keep him. We exchanged numbers before the night he left, but we hadn't communicated a lot. Just exchanged little bit of texts here and there, which included bantering over non-important things for 5 minutes before we both got busy with other things. It was the 5th day of his absence, and I was missing him badly. Over all of that, I was anxious wondering, if he was missing me too. I had reminded myself over and over again, that I am not his girl friend. That's why I hadn't texted him obsessively. And even switched off my phone to stop thinking about texting him. Or calling him. Nothing helped though. And the more I tried to appear cool about his absence, even from him, the more it fucked my head. Or heart for that part.

For the weeks before he had to leave, I hadn't even realized how attached I've become with him being there all the time. We had fallen into a routine, with him spending hours of the night time with me in my room. Just talking, about unusual weird things. And how at home I felt in his presence. And now that he was not here, I wasn't taking it that well. Unhealthy right ? But I couldn't help it.

I was missing how he would stare at me so intently whenever I'd start rambling about any random topic, and then how he would get distracted by my lips, and then how he would interrupt my rambling by kissing me. I was missing his subtle raised eyebrows and smirks and pointing towards upstairs whenever we'd be in the presence of his family. I was missing how, whenever I'd go to the kitchen, he'd make anything up to come to the kitchen to give me quick hidden kisses on my head and cheek. And how he would bring me coffee in my room, whenever I'd stay up till late catching up on studies.