In My Skin

CH 51 || The Dermatologists Are On A Different Floor

It had turned out Killian wasn't at home. This was how I found myself driving down the highway on my way to St. James Medical Center. Cody had dropped me off at Suz's place and it hadn't been until I'd finished washing up and applying moisturizer that I'd gotten down to call him and ask where his roommate had run off to. Which was the emergency room after he'd gotten a call that his sister had had an intense allergic reaction to her medication.

When I had called Killian earlier, his voicemail picked up. He'd probably run out of battery.

I tightened my grip, trying to steady my trembling hands on the steering wheel. Knowing Killian, he'd probably noticed my eczema by now like he noticed everything else. Even if he didn't know how bad it could get...

Still, how could I have been so caught up in my own stuff that I hadn't even questioned where Killian went? Or what happened?

No. I had to focus. For once, Killian needed support and not the other way around. This was my chance to be there for him.

There was only a slight problem...

By the time I arrived, my skin was bubbling with a prickling, itching sensation like an active volcano about to erupt. I risked a glance in the rearview mirror, regretting it instantly. I looked exactly how it felt. Flaky and irritated.

Whenever a flare hit me like this, all I wanted was to hide away until it was over. But I couldn't fuck this up.

I pinched my neck over and over until the skin was red and the itch had receded somewhat. I could do this. After giving myself another pep-talk, I finally left the car and trudged toward the hospital, feeling like I was dragging an anchor behind me. I halted outside the large double doors. It was easy, right? Just go in there and check on him. Let him know I was there. No problem.

Right.

The intense smell of disinfectant surrounded me as soon as I stepped inside the building. The entrance bustled with activity. A screaming kid sat beside his stressed mother, who had a tired, almost resigned look on her face. A couple had a loud argument right next to a guy in a wheelchair, who looked as if he wished to be anywhere else. My breath sped up, and the noises mixed and mashed, coming together to form one loud white noise.

Everyone I passed seemed to gawk at me like I was an exotic animal at the zoo. I shriveled under the intense gaze of an older woman in a patient's gown until I realized she was staring at the couple fighting behind my back. I instinctively hunched my shoulders, tugging the hood of the sweatshirt—specifically Killian's—lower over my face, although it hardly made a difference. Their stares seemed to cast a scorching spotlight on my face despite my attempt to shield myself from their prying eyes.

It's all in my head.

Thankfully, Cody knew which floor he was on. With my head lowered I slipped into the elevator, forcing myself to ignore the anxiety that rippled over my skin, further enhancing the itch until my whole body was twitching, begging for relief.

Don't scratch. Don't scratch... Fuck.

As soon as the elevator spit me out on the fourth floor, I dashed into the nearest bathroom. Then I turned the water as cold as possible and splashed it over my neck and face. I took a shaky breath and carefully dried my face with a paper towel. Not even a second later my skin tightened, almost painfully.

Shit. I hadn't brought any moisturizer.

This was a disaster. Should I just go back? But that was like giving up. I had to find Killian and check on him. I could do this. I just couldn't move my facial muscles in the process.