In My Skin

CH 55 || The Problem With Plans

The problem with plans? They never worked. Not for me at least.

Every time I made plans, it seemed like my skin made plans to ruin them.

At some point, it became a convenient excuse to avoid facing my problems, like a shield I waved around whenever things got uncomfortable. It was a heavy shield but at least the pain was familiar.

Cody's words kept playing in my head over and over. When I was ready.

The monster had become drowsy lately. I was finally sleeping through the night again. My skin wasn't as dry as before and I only had a small rash on my arm.

My biggest problem was one thing. How the hell should I talk to Killian?

As Wednesday evening rolled around, marking the first week back at school, Cody, Suz, and I gathered in the living room to strategize. Or rather, they attempted to give me a much-needed pep talk.

At least, that had been the idea, but two episodes into the newest K-drama Suz had picked—Vagabond—they both sat at the edge of the couch, their eyes glued to the screen.

"Guys," I started, my voice barely audible above the sound of explosions going off on the TV. "Didn't we want to discuss my next steps?"

Cody, his gaze never leaving the screen, responded without missing a beat. "Call him. Talk. Done."

I reclined with a groan. "But what if he doesn't want to talk? What if he hangs up? What if he doesn't pick up in the first place?"

The male lead finally made a breakthrough, prompting a synchronized cheer from Suz and Cody. She hit pause, turning her attention to me. "Easy solve. Just corner him at university. Give him no way out, so he can't run. That's how I'd do it."

"Exactly," Cody added confidently. "And I told you, he's not fed up with you."

"But...I mean, we haven't talked since then." And there was this small part of me that had expected him to...call. Maybe sent a text. Anything really. This radio silence had put my nerves on edge. What if I had pushed him away too far?

"Tay, don't beat yourself up," Suz said. "You went through a tough time and maybe you could've handled it better, but you also could've handled it worse. You weren't exactly in the right mindset at that time. I was honestly scared you'd become depressed. But now, you've found your way back. That's important. You guys hungry?"

"Starving," Cody chimed in.

She rose from the couch and picked up the dairy-free, gluten-free, and egg-free baked potato casserole her cousin had dropped off earlier. The diet change had shown promising results, reducing the eczema flare-ups to a small spot on my arm.

"I guess so," I replied after picking up a plate. "We still should do something for your cousin by the way. He's really good at this."

Suz and Cody exchanged a glance I couldn't quite decipher. "Sure," she said in a hesitant voice. "Maybe next week or something. I'll talk to him."

Satisfied, I dug in. The dish tasted heavenly.

"I agree with Suz by the way," Cody said. "I think you should do it tomorrow. He said he wanted to go to the library before class. That should give you enough time."

A burst of panic shot through me. "T-tomorrow?"

"It's only getting worse the longer you wait," Suz added.

They had a point, of course. There was just this nagging feeling in the back of my mind that I should've been faster. That it took me too long to crawl out of the hole I'd buried into. I shook my head. I should just go for it. "O-okay."