On Thin Ice

13. Knowing You, Knowing Me

Minnow's POV

I sat at the edge of my bed, my hands trembling as I wrapped them around my knees. My whole body was folded in on itself.

I already had 3 missed calls from Whitney asking me what had happened. To be fair, I probably shouldn't have texted her that I passed out at practice and not given any context.

My eyes closed tight and embarrassment rippled through me. I couldn't even trust my senses.

The mirage of Brodie seemed so real. Like he was there for real.

And now Rylo and Dickyi probably thought I was a freak. A fucking mental case.

I wouldn't blame them. I was definitely going crazy.

Dickyi had stayed with me even after the medics had checked me. She didn't say much but kept her eyes on me.

And when I was leaving she said I could take some more time before our next practice if I wanted. I told her I'd think about it.

To be honest I was thinking about it a lot. What if I wasn't ready to do this so soon?

Maybe I was crazy to think that I could just up and leave and start over in a new place. I was too hopeful. I thought I'd just get back on the ice and then everything would go back to the way it used to be.

And in those few moments of peace on the ice I had believed that too.

But it was too close to him. Everything about figure skating and its place in my life was too deeply intertwined with him.

I couldn't separate it.

Tears trailed down my cheeks as I stayed in the same position for what felt like an hour.

Fatigue hit me in waves but I knew that my blood sugar was most likely low. I had to eat something.

I lowered myself to my side and rolled up in a ball too tired to face Søren downstairs. He probably thought I was crazy too.

I had no doubt that Rylo had told him all about it.

There was a knock at the door and I stiffened. Wiping my eyes, I sat up and faced the window, trying to calm down my racing heart.

"Come in," I said weakly.

The door opened and closed and Søren cleared his throat.

"I wasn't sure if you were hungry but I made some food for you." My stomach rumbled audibly as if understanding what he just said.

"Thanks." I looked over my shoulder at him, taking in the way he stood near the bed with a plate. Still in pajama pants and a t-shirt, he looked ruffled and wide awake, like he was recently in bed.

The smell of the food made me lift my chin, trying to see what was on the plate. He noticed my curiosity and came to me, lowering it. "I wasn't sure what you'd eat but I remember you liked it when your dad would make you quinoa."

I looked at the vegetables and instantly salivated. I wasn't so unreasonable that I wouldn't take help. My blood sugar was dropping.

He watched me intently, waiting for me to take it. He could probably see the redness of my eyes, the puffiness from all of my crying.

Placing it on my lap, he glanced behind me. "Where's your phone?"

I pointed to my gym bag on the floor and stared down at the food in my lap. Lifting a spoonful to my mouth, I closed my eyes with fatigue. It wasn't bland at all but full of spice and flavor.

I was eating quickly now, the hunger in my stomach like a bottomless pit I needed to fill.

Once he found it, he turned it on and faced it towards me, using my Face ID.