On Thin Ice

24. Don't Want To Lay Down Without You

Entry #26
3/12
(3 yrs ago)
I miss home
I miss the farm on the hill I grew up on
I miss Mom and Lillie
I miss Dad more
But sitting here beside her, suddenly I don't feel so lonely

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A/N: One of my favorite songs that helped inspire this story.

Warning: Mentions of domestic violence.

Søren's POV

She looked at me hesitantly, as if second guessing this.

If she placed a hand on my chest, she'd feel my heart beating like a fucking drum. I wasn't sure why I was even nervous. Maybe I was scared of what she'd tell me. If any of the things I assumed were true. I hoped not.

"I was in a relationship with Brodie for three years." She said quietly.

Nothing else could be heard but our breathing.

My frontal cortex was stringing ideas together, rewriting facts in my mind. So it was true.

She squinted her eyes at me, a frown on her lips. "You knew?"

My jaw tightened and I released it, slowly nodding my head. "I didn't know for sure, but I had an inkling."

Minnow's brows raised, her whole face open. "An inkling?"

Sighing, I said, "Well, to be honest. I asked Callum to find out anything about you when you first moved in." She pulled her hand away from mine, pulling her neck back in surprise. Shit. "I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't have done that." I was speaking fast now, scared she would shut down and get up. "And I honestly did it because I just wanted to know if there was anything important I should know. Like stuff I had missed out in your life."

"And you didn't think to ask me?" Her voice was tight and acid-filled.

"Like you'd be willing to tell me," I contested.

She swallowed and rubbed her eyes. "Okay, fair. I guess. But..." She blinked at me. "Brodie and I were never public, how did he even--"

"Callum can find any information you want. Trust me, it's a little scary."

She cupped the back of her neck, slouching in the process. Already, I noticed how she had transformed, looking more tired than before.

"So you're not even a little surprised?"

"No, I am." I thought it over in my head, trying to remember the version of Brodie I knew for a short time. "I mean, I remember that he liked you, but I never thought that you'd--"

"Neither did I," She defended. "Trust me, that was the last thing I wanted at the time."

"So..."

She linked her full lips, her brown eyes peering up at me. "After things happened between us...I dunno." Then she laughed, inauthenticly. "Actually I do know. I was looking for anything to distract myself so I ended up in his bed."

She closed her eyes and groaned. "I was so fucking stupid."

"Brodie was easy to be with. It was no strings attached at first, just sex." She whistled. "And that was my first mistake honestly."

It was weird and stupid, but I felt a twinge of jealousy nagging me in the back of my head. I had no right to even be jealous.

"It was so much more complicated because we were partners and...you never hook up with your partner. That's like rule number one."