THICK SKULL , twd [ 1 ]

18. we've lost a lot

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A MAP OF THEIR old neighborhood is chalked onto the wall. Carl, Koa and Sadie recognize all the different names of their local businesses and the streets they'd race their bikes down.

       "What do you see?" Rick asks them. "It's our neighborhood," Carl says, landing on the square that represents his childhood home, one he didn't even get to finish his childhood in, "It's gone."

  'RICK'S HOUSE. BURNT OUT'—The chalk reads. Koa clenches her jaw, a heavy breath flowing through her nose. Sadie just stares at the words as she looks around for their old street.

Grant Street. Third house in. It doesn't say it's burnt down or anything. The square of her home is just there.

   "Is that why you wanted to come?" Rick asks Carl, "To see the house?" Koa snaps her eyes open, watching sadness flow over Carl's face but he quickly tries to hide it. "Carl," Rick calls out.

    "I—I just wanted to come," Carl stutters out. "Shane's house is still there. Our house," Sadie says to Koa. The brunette grimaces, "No. I'm not going there." It feels like she's already dead at the thought of it, Koa can't bear to see the house again.

"I can go there by myself then," Sadie says, not bothering to argue with her little sister. "Good. Go ahead. Go live on in the world with the good memories you have of him. All mine are ruined anyway," Koa claps her hands together, walking away from the chalk built map.

   It's not fair, she knows that but a part of Koa is mad that Sadie wasn't there for the demise of their uncle. She wasn't there to shield Koa from it, she wasn't there to carry the sight of Shane as a walker for as long as she lives. Koa shares that memory with Carl and Rick and the scar that burns at the thought of that night.

                        A sudden loud crunching pulls Koa from her thoughts. Nellie turns to face her mother, seeing a granola bar in hand. "We're eating his food now?" Rick asks disappointedly. Michonne shrugs, "Mat said 'Welcome.'"

                  Nellie chuckles in amusement and puts her hand out for the other half of the granola bar. Michonne happily places the snack in her hand and now both women are crunching away. Rick deadpans at them, blinking when Nellie lets a sly smirk spread across her face.

                      "I'm going on a run," Carl announces. "Where?" Rick questions.

                         "I thought maybe the one thing people didn't loot was cribs and there's that baby place that mom's friend Sara ran. It's just around the corner," Carl explains.