Chapter 50 - Terra

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Sixteen days before....


Only four days remained.

Xander was going back this Thursday, and when I woke up on Monday morning, I felt more than guilty having to leave for class. He wasn't awake when I was, and I was glad. It was best if he would sleep and rest as much as possible.

In addition, it was becoming increasingly difficult to think of facing him with my new mentality. As we grew closer, I grew more confused. It was so easy to talk to him, and while that was good for two people who have trouble opening up, it wasn't for two people who.... I wasn't even sure if he felt the same way. Maybe it was just me, a stupid human girl. Xander was easily the most attractive person I had ever laid eyes on, and he was also one of the sweetest and most riveting.

With the breakdown of my mental wall came the pent-up, confused feelings tumbling to me like a tsunami after the demolition of the dam holding it in. I was becoming so comfortable around him and talking to him was almost therapeutic. Was I mixing up friendliness with courtship? I had never been faced with such a situation in my life. I could never open up to Damian, and we were so unalike that it might not have worked out anyway. It was different with Xander. He understood and listened to me. I have not had any experiences of dates or doorsteps kisses even though I'm eighteen years old, and maybe the lack thereof was the cause of these feelings.

But I couldn't shake the feeling of him holding me, or the feeling of his long, strong hands, or the feeling of his finger caressing my cheek when he thinks I'm asleep....

I tried to ignore this as best as possible.

I went to class every day and planned on missing Thursday to see Xander back at the Project X facility alright. With the spontaneous and secretive Dr. Balcom still as head, it is never truly known what would come next. Especially with whatever Damian, Xander, and I were feeling was approaching.

Monday when I came home from school, though, I surprised Xander with a new iPod. He almost didn't know what to say, so I left him alone and let him download some songs. I caught up on some reading while Xander sat on the other end of the couch and rocked out with his new music, mouthing lyrics to me. Though sometimes he would just lay there and stare at the ceiling, breathing slowly and evenly, looking content and happy. I turned around and propped a pillow up against his thigh, laying back down and reading. After a little while, I felt him start to play with my hair.

The other days after school, we talked and he helped me study. I was surprised to learn that he knew a lot more about the human body than I thought. He told me that the book shelves in the Pit were filled with anatomy books and he had been reading them all for a while. Then, he started telling me about his favorite pieces. Stephen King novels, Edgar Allan Poe pieces, and books by George R. R. Martin were his favorites. I thought about where I would get those, and thought further of how I would sneak them in for him. I could try to bribe someone on the Loading Deck, and that should work.

Sometimes we would stay up late and he would watch me paint or sketch. I was starting to get better at his markings, and he was commending me every time. Though, he also commended me when I drew him a tree in ten seconds, so maybe his commemoration wasn't all too much to be celebrated.

On Tuesday night, the night before his last full day and the big exams before winter break, we stayed up extra late. I had an important anatomy final in the morning, and needed as much help as I could get.

"Go away," I sarcastically groaned, rolling over on my bed and pulling myself away from him.

He grabbed me by the ankles and pulled me back onto the bed. "Not until you learn what the splenius capitis is."

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