A Tree Takes Root

Brain Damage

I see you in the shadows
That dance across the walls
I always expect that you'll
Be around the next corner
But, instead, I weave around the house like a maze
Chasing an apparition

Your ghost, it fills this place
An echo of a memory
Reverbs, though the acoustics aren't that great
I swear I hear you everywhere
A jangle at the door as you fumble with your keys
Quiet din from the den as you watch that program I love to hate
The creek of the bottom step telling me you're coming to bed
But I wait all night and you never appear
Because an echo of the past is all I've left to hear

I kept your half used bottle of men's body wash
It's of no use to me
But it still sits in the tub
I used to love right after your took a shower
The door would open and your Old Spice smell
Would fill the house
Even now, I insist I sometimes whiff
Your scent drift down the hall

I feel your fingers run across my skin
Late at night when I'm all alone
Lying in the bed we both called our own
My synapses firing like crazy
In response to your phantom limbs

I open the kitchen cupboard and find
Your faded John Deere mug
I never did like that morning ritual
Your coffee kisses on my minty tongue
But now that they're gone
I find I miss the taste of your affection

You said I was unfeeling
With no heart to be found
Cold and callous
I believe those were
The words you spat
As you walked out the door
Though you threw in a few expletives
Then explain to me this:
How do you inundate my senses
Making me feel so much
Even after you've left?

Logically I know you're gone
I don't know where
Just not here
But my prefrontal cortex
Can't seem to get on the same page
As the rest of my sensory systems

Maybe there's something wrong
Some sort of brain damage to be found
For sensations swirl around my head
And bombard me with false stimuli
Memories of what once was

I should face the facts
There is no brain damage to be found
All of my lobes are in perfect order
The only damage done
Was beat upon my heart
Creating its own erratic rhythm