50 Ways to Flirt with a Werewolf

#12

It was a particularly boring summer day. Mr. and Mrs. Potter were out running Ministry errands leaving the Marauder's alone. The boys were sitting in the Three Broomsticks when Mandy Harrell strode in along with her fanatic girl group. Remus caught her eye and sunk low into his seat.

"What's wrong?" James asked, noticing his best mates odd behavior. 

"Maniac Mandy," Peter mumbled, nudging his ribs. 

Mandy had just graduated Hogwarts and was completely obsessed with Remus since last year. It baffled even himself. 

"Remy!" Mandy exclaimed, rushing towards their table. She scanned the booth and made to sit on James. 

"Bloody hell!" James muttered, quickly shoving her away and scooting closer to Peter.  

Mandy made herself comfortable, grabbing Remus's hand across the table.

"Uh h-hi Mandy," Remus said through his voice crack. 

"Aw you're so cute Remy," she cooed. She looked at James and Peter, daring them to say something. They backed against the booth, holding their hands up in defense. On Remus's other side, Sirius grit his teeth, clearly annoyed at Mandy. "Haven't gotten an owl from you recently."

Remus stumbled along his words thinking of a good lie, "Oh. My owl...she was-" 

"Impregnated!" Peter blurted. 

All three boys stared at him but what surprised them more was when Mandy believed it. "Oh, that's alright. I know owls can't fly when they're pregnant."

James rose an eyebrow, "Really?" Remus kicked his shin under the table and he broke into a fit of coughs. "I mean yeah. They're terribly bottom heavy. Poor thing waddles around the house. Tragic really..."

"Funny thing we're here," Mandy continued, "Together. Practically alone."

Sirius snorted. 

"Have a problem Black?" 

Remus looked back and forth between the pair like watching a muggle tennis match. 

"Yeah actually." He grabbed Remus's other hand and stared directly into the beast - Mandy's - eyes. "I do have a problem with you flirting with my boyfriend."

James choked on his drink, sputtering butter beer all over Mandy's leg. 

She jumped up with an outraged look and stared at Sirius and Remus. "You're lying!"

"Nope." Sirius squeezed Remus's hand, "We're happily in love."

"Prove it." Sirius's eyes widened and Remus looked at him in a mixture of shock and confusion. "Kiss."

Peter grabbed his wand from under the table, igniting the firewhisky bottles at the bar. The glass erupted, causing Mandy and her group and duck for cover. The Marauder's quickly ran out of the Three Broomsticks, and Remus kindly left more than enough to pay for the damages on the table. 

"Merlin good one Pete!" Sirius exclaimed as they came to a stop down the street. 

"Mandy's insane," James commented, running a hand through his hair. 

Peter sat down, staring at Remus and Sirius. "Mandy can't see us anymore. You don't have to keep holding hands."

Sirius looked down noticing he was still linked to Remus and they both dropped their hands. 

"Right," Remus mumbled, "Just making sure." Though he wouldn't admit he kind of like the feeling.