Extraordinary Love

Chapter 25

Song: This Ain't by Chris Brown

"The truth is rarely pure and never simple." - Oscar Wilde

Christopher

The shameful walk back to campus must have taken him hours. He cried to his mother over the phone like he was a little boy again, telling her that he'd done something terrible. He had laid his hands on a woman and became a man he never wanted to be: his father. He felt like a monster.

Once back at his dorm, he frantically packed up all of his belongings. He had to get out, get away from Robyn and their toxic relationship. Before he got expelled or arrested. He haphazardly stuffed in belongings in a couple of bags, filled to the brim but enough to carry. The first bus headed out east was at four in the morning and he was on it, rolling away from his dream school, dream girl and heading towards the unknown.

The closer he got to home, the bigger his fear and anxiety grew. He kept imagining the looks of disappointment and fear and utter disgust on the faces of his mother and the Neversons. Chris had thrown away everything in the heat of a moment. His whole entire future.

The buses kept creeping closer and closer towards Virginia. He had spent two days straight on the Greyhound, with just his thoughts. On the third day, his phone dinged with a name he hadn't thought would pop up again. His stomach knotted.

Robyn: Hey... Where are you? I went by your room and your roommate said you were gone without an explanation?

Chris: I left. It's what's best for both of us.

Robyn: So that's just it?? We get into one little fight and you leave and were over?? I don't have time for this Christopher.

"One little fight? One little fight?" He thought.

It wasn't a dispute over where to go out to eat. It was unequivocally the worst mistake of his life. He was horrified that he would even do that. He had scratches and bruises across his face, chest, side, and arms. The thought of what Robyn's injuries must have looked like made him sick to his stomach. He was scared of himself.

Chris: Robyn, what happened is not okay. You can't see that? This whole "relationship" isn't healthy. I can't keep living this way. And you can't keep treating people like shit and expecting them to love you unconditionally.

Robyn: You know what? I'm somewhere between fuck you, I hate you, and I miss you so much because you're saying some really dumb shit right now. You're mine. There is no breaking up with me.

Chris: Fuck you and that's with love. You don't love me. And you must really be bat shit crazy if you really think us putting our hands on each other like that is fine. Don't you see how bad it is?? I'm sorry Robyn from the bottom of my heart. We both need something that we can't give each other and we can't fill that empty space with sex or alcohol or drugs.

Robyn: So you "love" people until you don't need them anymore, huh? You want to leave like everyone else. Don't worry about my bruises. These aren't shit compared to what I've been through. You think I was wrong to start all that shit in the car. But am I gonna apologize? No. You knew not to try that bullshit on me. And stop making me sound like I'm some crazy psycho monster or a weak sss victim. If I'm so toxic, just tell me you don't love me anymore and I'll let you go.

Chris: This isn't love.

Robyn: You don't mean that shit.

Chris: I do.

Robyn: You will regret it.

Chris: Maybe, but I swear to God I'm moving on, one way or another. Bye Robyn.

As they pulled up to the bus station, Chris noticed a sign flash for the 416 to New York City. Before he knew what he could even second guess his actions, he was in line for a ticket.

"I haven't spoken to her since that day. I took the Greyhound up to New York City instead of back home and started a new life. I had to man up and get out of my own way. Stop wasting my time on someone who didn't even care about me. My momma kept telling me, 'If you could love the wrong person this much, think of how much more you could love the right one.' I couldn't imagine it. I didn't think love was in the cards for me. How could a good woman love a man like my father, like me? I would only attract the broken and toxic. I had convinced myself that I was unlovable, a monster. I thought about killing myself. Art saved me. Trey and my mother saved me. You saved me. Brought hope into my life once again. My momma always says that people aren't afraid of saying I love you. They're afraid of hearing the response, you know? I love you, Aaliyah. I'm in love with you, deeply, madly, truly. This is the first time I know that I've been in real genuine love. You mean the fucking world to me. And I know that you need time to process that and I understand that this all may change how you see me or feel about me. I'm not that person anymore though and I care about you deeply. And I hope that you feel the dame, or will in time."

His chest heaved, out of breath from ranting.

"Chris, I know your heart and I know you, who you really are. Nothing is going to change how I feel about you. I love you, too."

1. Now that you've heard Chris' entire side of what happened, how do you feel about the situation?
2. Are Robyn or Chris in any way justified in their reactions?
3. How would you feel if you were Aaliyah after hearing Chris' story?
4. Did this format work better than when Aaliyah told Chris about Desi and Tory?