Extraordinary Love

Chapter 39

Song: Too Little Too Late by JoJo

Aaliyah

Two wrongs don't make a right.

Deciding to let my grandparents take care of Desi was one of the hardest decisions of my life. I knew I wasn't ready. I couldn't handle it. Just because Chris believed that he made the wrong choice five years ago doesn't mean that making another wrong choice now is going to magically correct that.

Maybe I was so scared about him taking in Robyn's daughter for more reasons than one. He probably thought I was being petty and jealous and overreacting. It was selfish of me to think about it but... I pictured them creating their own little family. If he was as good with Imani as he was with Desi, I knew that little girl would fall for him. And being the softhearted teddy bear that he is, he'd fall for her back. I imagined him and Robyn and the little girl going on little trips to Disney World and taking her to the park looking like some picture-perfect modelesque family. The amount of time they'd spend together. If Chris was in Imani's life, that meant that Robyn was in his life. Would people mistake them for a couple? I wasn't ready or willing to share him. He was supposed to be mine, just for me. It would be different if he already had kids of his own and then I was signing on to being a stepmother. What if people mistake him as Imani's father? What if he was great at being a father on his first take? What does that say about me as a mother if I couldn't take care of my own child and Chris is ready and able to take care of one that's not even his?

My grandmother and Mama J assured me that that was not the case, but it didn't stop the thought from returning. I had been spending a lot of time with Mama J while she was in town but being around her made me think of Chris. They had the same smile and he was all that we talked about. That everything she said to him just seemed to go through one ear and out the other. I needed a distraction that was not related to him. Literally.

Getting back in the swing of things at work had helped take my mind off of it some. I picked up the task of interviewing some of the Brooklyn Nets players at a closed practice. It was something I could bring Desi along to and it seemed like it could be fun for both of us. She wanted to see her mom in action.

Plus, Desi was a little ball of energy and I was hoping maybe dribbling a ball for a bit would help to tucker her out. She was going to be a sporty, active little girl.

The sports facility was unreal. You would have never even guessed that there was this giant expansion within the basketball stadium. Just rows and rows of workout machines upon workout machines. There were players on the main game court and practice courts downstairs. I already wasn't the tallest and I felt like a freshman on the first day of high school with all of these bodies towering over me.

I checked in at the front desk, where Desi and I received badges and were told to feel free to explore wherever we liked (except the locker room). I was also told that the Nets had an upcoming game against the Cleveland Cavaliers and there were some opposing players in the facility too.

I didn't keep up with basketball at all so honestly, I had no idea who any of these people were, Nets or Cavs. If a player wasn't married to some actress or TV personality or had been in some scandal, there was a slim chance I'd even heard their name.

So I just picked a few at random. I spoke to a couple sitting on the sidelines down on the courts, taking a couple of statements and asking open-ended questions. I wasn't quite sure what the angle for the story was going to be yet if any. I wasn't writing the story but just getting a few quotes for a journalist coming to the game.

When Desi started to get antsy, we moved onto the locker rooms. I was hoping there was a free treadmill she could hop on. Just a few more players and I'd take her out to lunch.