All She Can Take

S E V E N

College - Freshman Year - Five Years Ago

Sid stepped out of the car and allowed herself to take in the sprawling lawn where people laid out on blankets. Frisbee's were flying. Upstate New York seemed to just be an extension of Central Park from what she could see. This is where she would spend the next four years? This is the place that was supposed to mold her into a great chef and businesswomen? By the looks of her fellow undergrads lighting up a joint on the front lawn, she was not quite convinced. But nonetheless, she imagined leaving here, older, wiser, and ready to take on the entire world. Optimism tingled in her brain for the first time in a long time and... it made her want to vomit.

Aiden emerged from the car a moment after her and she felt awful for thinking that he shouldn't be here. Not him specifically but who he is. A boyfriend. A boyfriend doesn't drop you off as you embark on one of the most important phases of your life. Her mom and dad should be the ones dropping her off for college. Instead, it was Aiden. Her mother had moved to a large home only twenty minutes away from campus but she was so busy with starting her new life that she could not spare an afternoon away for this huge moment. It was disheartening but unbelievably on-trend with how she had behaved ever since the night that Sid told her what she had seen. It was like her mother turned the grief faucet to a permanent off position and never looked back.

In the four months since her father's death, Tanya Berry had packed up all his things and shoved them to places unknown, bought a new home — not the one that her Dad had originally picked out for them — and even started a new business. Tanya hated when Sid called it 'her business'.

"It's not a business. It's a non-profit! I'm helping kids. Ones just like you and Whitney who have experienced trauma and need support." Tanya would yell at her.

The irony always caused Sid to roll her eyes and suggest that she start with supporting her own kids. And then they would speak for a few days. The cycle was vicious but Sid found it hard to hold her tongue while her mother tried to erase her father so she lived with Aiden for the past month. Being at home had become just a bit more than she could bear.

Especially because Sid was pretty sure her mother was screwing Regis Hollins. Yes, the sleazy lawyer who helped her win her sham of a lawsuit against the MTA. Yes, they did what they set out to. Her mother was now a few signatures shy of being a multi-millionaire and Regis wasted no time crawling into the loaded widow's bed. The whole thing made Sid nauseous and she wanted nothing to do with it. None of the money. Not the house. It was all bought on the back of her Father's death. So when Whitney and her mom moved from Brooklyn to the suburbs of New Rochelle, Sid crashed with Aiden and his folks. If her college hadn't been paid for through scholarships she probably would not have gone either. She was proud. Glad she could at least do this one thing for herself with no misery or regrets.

"Let's get checked in and then settle you into your dorm first since I already met my roommate." Aiden's head was buried in a map of campus.

Aiden did all the right things to prepare for college. He filled out the questionnaires and signed up for club meetings and Face-Timed his roommate at least once a week prior to getting to campus. It was obnoxious to watch. Especially since his enthusiasm and normalcy made her anxious and depressed. She didn't know what dorm she was staying in. Didn't even know her roommate's name and never even attempted to contact them. Her mother dropped off the college packets as they came to Aiden and he filled out the information. But he could not force her to do human contact. As she watched all the other people milling about— post-pubescent joy and marijuana coursing through them--she realized that being antisocial may not fly so well. Her body started to buzz with a nervous hum that sparked at the base of her spine and engulfed her whole body. She closed her eyes, trying to keep it at bay. She felt a cool hand snake into hers and opened her eyes.