All She Can Take

F O R T Y - O N E

The rooms in the house were plentiful. All decorated and done up with thick Frette sheets, silky pillows, and extra clothing, robes, and towels. But she decided to stay in Whitney's room. Sidney was in her sister's bed, her back resting against a purple tufted headboard, legs stretched out in front her, and brain barreling in every direction. Her mind was getting whiplash from how quickly it was moving. It would be sorrowfully stuck in the past before shifting violently to her worried present. Her future was a discouraging gray that she couldn't access no matter how she tried. Too many roads for her to go down. Too many possible outcomes. Detrimental ones.

Music was playing in the background, as it always was with her sister. Wherever Whitney was music was never far behind. It was like she walked through the world with her own soundtrack. This evening it was soulful. Deep emotional chords moaned low around them. Whitney's head rested on Sid's lap.

Sid threw down her phone as it died in the middle of her trying to send another text to Phil. It wasn't like he would respond any way but she was hoping he could. She tugged back the urge to cry and prayed that he could find a way to let her know that he was still alive.

"So, the brother of our dad's killer?" Whitney said as if she was right there in Sid's head with her.

"I didn't know he was Kru's brother until after we got together."

"You guys are together?"

"No, we're not like together together. We've just been spending some time with one another but..."

"You like him?"

Sid thought about Phil. He was nothing like Aiden but in spite of herself, she compared Phil to him. The similarities were slim to none but there was something they shared. That same pull she felt to Aiden, she felt to Phil. He was familiar. Like a place she had not visited in a while but could still feel the security of curling up in her favorite hiding spots. With him, she shed her titles. She wasn't a Chef. Roland's daughter. Aiden's Ex. Single mom. When she was with Phil she felt her youth coming back alive. He looked at her like a beautiful stone that, out of pure luck, he alone had stumbled upon. He seemed to never notice the baggage she carried. The weight of failure that hung around her. He reminded her that she was twenty-freaking-three and that it was okay that she was still figuring things out. And most of all he was honest. And sexy. Sidney closed her eyes against the flutters in her tummy.

"Yes, I like him. A lot." And then her heart broke again. Huge tears moved down her face and landed like rain from a storm cloud on Whitney's ear. She wiped the moisture from Whitney's ear and her sister turned to look up at her. "I have to help him."

"We will. If he's had to live with Kru all his life...Kru's probably devastated him as much as he's devastated all of us." Whitney was speaking from her analytical psychology background but it cracked open something in Sid's head. The only man that Sid had compared Phil to was Aiden. He was her only frame of reference for relationships for her entire life. But before Aiden even came along there was another man who formed the idea of who a man was. He was honest, brutally so. He had dreams that would take him far away from their hood. And when he loved, it was so pure and so full. Phil was so familiar because he reminded her so much of her father. And there he was in Kru's clutches just like her father ended up. Fury rode in on a wild horse and stamped every other emotion out.

"He can't keep doing this. I have to stop him." Whitney sat up and looked at Sidney.

"I know Sid, trust me I understand but... first and foremost you have to stay alive. I will not lose you to this man too." Sid didn't answer. What was in her mind would surely terrify her sister. She wanted to end this guy. Even if that meant her end as well.