All She Can Take

T H I R T Y - O N E

 "The money? Who...I don't give a shit, Sid. You just told me that my brother killed your Pops." Phil's feet shifted on the thin carpet and turned away from her. His fingers ran wild over his head like he was trying to rid his brain of the information that Sid just shared with him. Some part of it was endearing to her. Never, when she spoke about her father's death and what she witnessed, did it seem to affect anyone like it was affecting Phil. Not even when she told Aiden years ago. He felt bad for her. She knew that. Phil however, felt bad. Hard stop. Like the weight of it was on his shoulders. Like he had some ownership in it too. Sid felt lighter. She guessed that's what happened when someone shared your burden.

She went over to him and laid a hand on her back.

"Talk to me."

"He's just...fucked up my life, Sid. And to know he fucked up yours too. I'm like..." He couldn't find the words and Sid did make him.

"He's my mom's oldest. She dad him when she was fourteen. I'm her youngest. She would barely even let him set foot in our apartment and I always thought she was trippin. But she knew her child. She knew some shit I didn't even see." He sank back down into one of the chairs. "He just looked dope to me. Chains and shit. Fresh look. Always had some chicks. He popped up on me after school a few years back and told me to take a ride with him in his Benz. I was gone after that."

"He knew what he was doing. And I fell for it. Now I'm wrapped up in this shit. It ain't even for me, man. I'm about to be twenty and I can't even buy tissue to wipe my own ass without getting the go-ahead from Kru."

"Maybe your Mom can help? She can talk to him. Can you go to her?"

"Sid, I can't step foot in the hood. When they let me out this morning I called Chante to find you and came straight here. I saw you when you came in but your son's Dad... seemed like ya'll had somethings to talk about and I didn't want to stress you."

He had been there the whole time. Saw her and Aiden. He felt safe with her and if Sid allowed herself to accept it, she saw that she felt safe with him too. Honesty was never good at escaping her body since her Dad died but with Phil, it fought to get out.

"Kru didn't want me out and if he catches wind that I am..."

In the corner of Sid's mind, she saw Phil being crushed by a ton of fast-moving metal and it made tears push into her eyes. She quickly wiped them and stood making her way over to the double doors. She thrust the door open.

"Fuck!" Sidney swirled around to see Tomi behind one of the wooden doors holding on to her head. Eavesdropping.

"You heard?"

"Yeah. Shit." Tomi rubbed the center of her forehead with her palm like she was trying to ward off an intense brain freeze.

"I need help." Sid's voice shattered just saying it. The emotion that was spilling from her turned up to a ranging current. Tomi stopped attending to her own pain and went to her friend. Wrapped in her arms Sid took deep breaths against Tomi's shoulder. The slickness of her tears causing the strap of Tomi's dress to slip. Sid tried to fix it but Tomi swatted her hand away from the distraction and pulled her in tighter and closer. They looked a mess there together.

The door to the conference room opened. Phil stood stock still in the doorway taking in the unexpected scene. Sid knew she was freaking him out. She was freaking herself out. She was always so composed around him, almost to the point of being dead inside. But now she was undone and her friend was the only thing holding her together.

"I'm sorry, Sid. I'm going to go." Phil said misreading the situation. If he thought he was the cause of her being a crumpled mess he was sadly mistaken. Sid raised her head from Tomi.

"No. No, you can't go back there. Just, no. Tomi--" Sid asked with her eyes.

"There are empty corporate suites upstairs. Hold on." Tomi took off back down the hall and disappeared behind the front desk where she spoke with the front desk girl conspiratorially. She returned with a key card in hand and led them to the elevators. As they ascended, Sid tried to collect herself. The tears were still streaking down her fast without permission. She wore a grimace at their betrayal. She tucked herself in the corner with Tomi stealing worried glances at her. Phil inched closer, allowing their arms to touch. Just to let her know that he was there. In the same boat with her. She rested her weight against him until the door slid open to the brightly lit hallway.

They all entered a door at the end of the hallway, last room on the left, and were standing in the living room of a sparsely decorated with a modern hand. Tomi went through and clicked on the lights.

"If you need anything just call the front desk. It's under my name. Oh, I'm Tomi." Tomi came over and held out a cordial hand to Phil. He shook it.

"I'm sorry. Phil this is Tomi, my best friend slash lifesaver. Tomi; Phil." Sid tried to salvage the awkward introduction. Tomi's eyes flashed with excitement.

"Phil! I've heard good things. Feel free to whip up a batch of anything you want in the kitchen."

Sid's cheeks flushed and her tears stopped cold. Nothing like good old fashioned embarrassment to usurp pain.

"Oh, so you've heard about my Brother Cups! I'll definitely pull some together for you. Dude inside told me how to get the shell of the chocolate a bit shinier by warming the molds."

"I love when chocolate is so smooth like glass! Did you consider using dark chocolate for the health-conscious?"

"I did but I couldn't decide whether to go for the 75% or 60%. I kept--"

"Alrighty, then. Phil, I'll bring some clothes and stuff in the morning for you." Sid interrupted their recipe planning.

"Cool, thanks."

"But just stay here. Don't go back home, okay." Sid pleaded with him. He nodded. His dark brown eyes finally getting some life back in them.

"I won't."