❝I need to put me first❞ | Being back home isn't as good as Rose thought it would be, living surrounded by a family she doesn't know is taking a toll on her. As Rose tries to deal with her amnesia while she also comes to terms with trying to find ou...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Driving closer to the border, I checked the co-ordinates on my phone as my stomach clenched the closer we got to the destination. This was somewhere I wasn't particularly excited to go, but I knew it was needed.
Pulling over on the side of the road, I got out of the car, frowning when I noticed skid marks on the road as if the rubber had burned into the ground and would be there forever.
I begged Mia and Dom to show me the pictures that they had from the FBI; that's how I knew how to find this place. They were reluctant to tell me at first, but I needed to know.
This was the crash site, the place I was supposed to have died. This is where Rosalie did die, but it was the place that this new me was born.
Crouching down, I touched the mark as a few tears hit the black burn as before I stood, almost hearing the screeching of the tires as my car flew down the road. Dom wasn't very forthcoming with information, but that's what hacking was for.
I knew everything.
Closing my eyes, I stood in the middle of the road breathing in the fresh air as I just let myself be.
Pushing open my door, I tried to crawl out of the car, but I fell onto my back breathing heavily. Blood was dripping down my face and pain-wracked over me. I closed my eyes for a second as I tried to get air into my burning lungs. BANG!
Jumping out of the flashback, my eyes widened, seeing a truck honking its horn at me as it rapidly made its way closer to me as I stood in the middle of the road.
Diving to the right, I just about made it out of the way with a yell as the trucker blew it's horn angrily at me.
My chest heaved up and down as I tried to catch my breath. I could almost feel the fiery burn from the memory. Pulling out my keys with shaky hands, I got back into my car as I let out a sob.
I thought remembering all these things would make me feel better, but they weren't.
Driving back towards Mexico and away from the border, I tried so hard to keep myself pieced together and not fall apart. Maybe remembering everything wasn't the thing I had been missing out on.
Do I really need to put myself through this?
Hearing a ringing sound, I pull my phone out and answer it with a confused frown. I didn't recognize the number "Hello?"
"Rose? This is nurse Santos. We spoke at the medical clinic," I blinked; she must have found something if she called me, I gave her my number, but I wasn't actually expecting her to call.
"Yes."
"I just wanted to let you know I think I was able to find your records. The problem was that you were listed under a different name. It wasn't Rose Ortiz. It was under Rose Yashar".
"I'm really sorry about Gisele, Han," I say quietly.
"It's not your fault," he shrugs. "She liked you, you know?" I frowned at his words, "You impressed her, and she respected you for that."
"Rose? Are you still there?..." Pressing the end call button, I turned the wheel and parked the car as I breathed heavily, Gisele saved me and gave me her last name in the hospital, and I helped get her killed.
Maybe not directly, but it was enough for me.
It seemed that trying to find myself was leading me to places I now realized that I really didn't want to remember. Having a hand in the death of the woman who saved your life wasn't a great feeling.
Wiping away the tears that were falling, my eyes rested on my bag as I pulled out the journal Letty had given me. I glanced over the contents of the book as I came to a page with a picture – the crew was all there.
Turning a few more pages, I came across the 'pipeline destinations' page as I smiled, running a finger over the names of the places and the pictures Letty had stuck in the book.
The empty page loomed back at me as I frowned, remembering back to the barbecue not long after I had come back to America. My conversation with Han stuck out in my mind the most.
"I'm going to Tokyo," he announced suddenly as I glanced at him. "You're welcome to visit whenever you need to," he explained with a face of understanding.
Pulling my phone back out, I dialed the number of the person who had become a sort of confidant for me. He was always there when I called him.
It was time for me to do what I want to do and not worry about being Rosalie.
"Hey," Han greets as I bit my lip, looking over my Tokyo page, wondering if this was a good idea. Japan was definitely different from life in America, but maybe that's what I needed.
"Is your offer still good?" I asked without greeting him. He could probably tell by my tone of voice this wasn't for a friendly chat. I needed to get away from all this stuff, and Han seems to have done it. So why can't I?.
"You know it is. You're always welcome here," He answered as I nodded to myself, thinking up a plan. "Does Dom know?" I bit my lip at his questioning, knowing my family would be upset, but this wasn't about them right now.
"No, he doesn't, but I'll tell him. Give me a few days, and I'll be there" I hear Han make a noise of agreement as I sigh. "I really need to get away. Everything is too hard here," I let out a soft cry.
"Don't cry, baby girl, get your stuff ready, buy a ticket, and I'll pick you up from the airport," Han instructed as I wiped my tears, agreeing with him before we ended the call. Sighing, I raked my hands through my hair as I pick up the journal with a small smile.
Looks like I'll be filling in my last dream destination soon enough.
