Codex Mortem

Not a woman

Note: I do not own any of the pictures. If you know the authorsm please tell me so I can give them the credit they deserve. The pictures I use are from Facebook and they match to what I imagine for my characters and their world.

Dawn

Soon will be dark. It was a good day. Short, but good. I smile, thinking of the hot mug that awaits me. Mother can melt hearts with that brew, not to mention her stew. My hands and knees sting, but the heavy basket worth every scratch. With a cheerful tune, I head back home.

Well...hardly I can call it home. Come spring, we move further. The land is better than in south, with fewer people. Sadly, I like this place. It is good to forage, and our tiny hut felt like home.

"Blessings, mother" I say, entering.

She greets me, stirring her pot. Then she fills the mug. "Here, you must be thirsty."

Smelling the steam, I close my eyes and hold it to warm my hands. I take a sip and let the liquid linger on my tongue, while she places the stew between us.

Funny enough, I feel full. All I had in the day was some dandelion leaves. Thinking about, I feel odd, but not in a bad way... We ate slowly as the dark fell over the hills. Once we finished, i kneel in front of the fire for mother to perform a miracle on my dishevelled hair.

"Tomorrow is market day."

My eyes brightens. I loved markets, and I was good at negotiating the goods, always getting the best bargain.

"You are not coming, Dawn. It's too dangerous."

"What?! You can't go without me! I promise I will do everything you say, mother! I will be mute if you want me to!"

"For the last time, no! In the morning go check the snares, see if we are lucky, and bring more water from the creek. I feel snow will be upon us soon. We still have much to do to survive the winter, girl." She uses her soft motherly voice.

"At least, don't call me that..."I said. I was grown enough to hide my breast now.

"You are still a girl, and naive of the ways of the world. Now go to sleep", she tells me, annoyed.

The fire is cracking as I lay on the pallet. Mother nudges me to the wall and throws the patched blanket over us. We sleep close to one another, to keep warm.

My eyes are closed, but I can't sleep.

I feel overwhelmed with sadness and I wish I could have a life...one with friends ,where loneliness is just a memory. I need to belong, to have a home...but mother loves me and keeps us both safe. She never told me about the ghosts of her past, but I know that her life changed the day she found me.

"Mother, can you tell me a story?" my voice cut through the night's silence.

With a sleepy voice, she turns to me. The fire lights faded some time ago, but I can feel her soft gaze.

"Aren't you a bit old for that, my dear? Or are you still a girl?" she scolds.

With a huff and a puff, I turn my face to the wall and squeeze my eyes shut. Her gentle hand touches my arm, moving up and down.

"A long time ago, in the old days, the land was divided into many small kingdoms that lived in peace and helped each other. The warrior king, Theorus, was the guardian of the realm and much loved by the people. His beautiful wife, queen Hara, gave him three sons, filling his heart with pride and joy."

"Was she beautiful? And did he loved his people like they loved him?" I ask.

"Hush, girl, if you want to hear the story! Of course he loved his people, otherwise how would they love him? You can't receive something you don't give!"

"But the queen, how was she?"

"She was beautiful, like all queens are. She was gentle and caring- and smart. Not a warrior like her husband, but a warrior at heart. Before being crowned, she was a princess of Taria, and she had a proper education."

I take her hand into mine and squeeze it. "Just like you, mother!" She giggles and squeezes back.

"But," -with a more serious intonation, she continues- "In those days, a demon escaped from Tarr and walked free on the earth, feeding on sins and sorrows."

In my mind, I imagine an evil creature, black as night with red eyes, lurking in the dark. I lift my head slowly and scan the room to make sure there is no one else in here but us.

"One night, the demon went to a far away king and, in his sleep, poisoned his dreams. He explored the king's weaknesses, bringing up the deepest desires."

Her voice thickens, and she conjures the dramatic sounds of the battle drums.

"Dum dum. Dum dum. Within a fortnight, the war begun. King Cunnhir knelt the kingdoms one by one, leaving only blood and despair behind, till all that was left to conquer was Theorus' land."

Twisting a lock of hair with my finger, my curiosity wins again.
"Is it the same demon that is trapped in the stone?"

"Yes, the same one."

"Who trapped it there?" I ask eagerly.

"Oh, the angel trapped it, Dawn, but that's a story for another time."

"What angel? Where did it come from?" my beseeching voice cut her again.

"The angel came from the Sun. To came down to earth, it had to take human form. But as a mortal woman, she lost her light and forgot her purpose. It is said that before she found her essence, she fell in love with a mortal and got heavy with child."

I listened in silence how the warrior king fought against the tyrant, with no odds of winning.
Mother told me he could not accept the defeat, as that meant the end of his people and death of his family.

But the restless demon offered him a bargain.

"So did king Theorus won?"

"Yes, he did. The demon kept his part of the deal."

"So what happened with his first son?"

"The demon marked his blood, to claim his soul in death."

A gust of cold air brushes my skin, provoking a shiver. I could understand the difficult choice- his son's life for the lives of his people.
I feel sorry for the warrior king, and I think of how I wouldn't wish for anyone a choice like that.

"And did he die?" I ask, saddened by his fate.

"His father couldn't kill him, like he promised. That only infuriated the demon."

My eyelids feel heavy and I struggle to remain awake.
Last thing I recall is mother saying "This way, the first Nightwalker was created, and the angel sacrificed herself to trap the demon inside the stone, leaving her beloved baby to Hara - queen of old Dirae."

The sun is struggling to rise when I open my eyes. I look around and see the steam rising in the cold air. She knows how much I like her brew. But she is nowhere; she left early. I get up to take the mug and something feels warm on my thigh. I know what it is.

-Mother, I Am a woman now... I murmur.

.....