Crashing Into Blue

Chapter 19

I'm not sure what possessed me in that moment, but all I knew is that Patrick was being petty and destructive, and I needed to put a stop to it immediately, before it grew out of control. The way I imagined he made Samson feel in that moment, and the way I knew he made Jasmine feel gnawed at me. What I saw in her face brought back memories of last summer, snippets that I try to ignore so they don't taint my only dreamy summer romance. I only allow myself to revisit them during a state of blurry existence, halfway between reality and a dreamland, where I can just suddenly fall between the spaces and forget it ever happened.

But that's not what I tell Indigo when I recount the night's events over breakfast the next morning. I tell her that Samson and I played the perfect couple, fawning over each other at just the right moments, and that with a flourish I left Patrick in the dust, making sure that he knows that I'm over him, and that I am in control of my own happiness. She squealed when I showed her the bear Samson won for me, named Limoncello due to his yellow overalls. Indigo was so proud of me that she even let me eat the last strawberry and cheese toaster strudel, which I know is her absolute favourite breakfast item, while she ate a desolate blueberry one found in the corner of our freezer without complaint. Every bite went down with a bitter after taste, knowing I didn't really deserve it.

As I'm finishing up my last bite of strudel, Indi reenters the kitchen in an old tank top and denim cutoffs, polka dot bikini peeking out from underneath.

"Are you sure you don't want to tag along? It's the perfect beach day, and I've told you countless times that girls from work really don't mind."

Indigo and I truly are inseparable in many aspects, but our friend groups have somehow never overlapped, with Samson being the exception. I guess when you have a walking clone you have to define yourself somehow.

I shake my head. "It's really okay, I'm looking forward to just relaxing; who knew working and scheming simultaneously was so tiring?"

Indigo laughs at me as she drops a pair of aviators onto her nose.

"And that is why, lovely sister of mine, I leave all that scheming to you." I scoff. "You're the one who came up with the plan!"

She tilts her sunglasses down the bridge of her nose. "Yet you're the one executing the dirty work." She shrugs as she turns to leave. "It feels good being the boss."

I shake my head with a smile, and as I get up to put my plate in the sink, I hear Indi putting on some flip-flops and opening the door. There are some muffled voices, and then the door closes. As I'm getting ready to leave the kitchen, my fingers itching to pick up my acoustic guitar and mess around with some chords, I run straight into Patrick.

My first reaction is a startle. My hands instinctively fly upwards and I feel myself flinch. Patrick laughs and grabs my hands, lowering them to my sides. I quickly pull my hands out from between his.

"Sorry to startle you, Indigo let me in," he says while pointing over his shoulder. He takes in my unruly hair and rumpled pajamas. "Is this an okay time?"

Actually no, I think to myself, I was just going to work on some music and then try to persuade my mother to rejoin the land of the living. I haven't seen her emerge from the shed all week, and I'm starting to get a little worried. I was going to play something new for her on my guitar, since I know she loves to hear Indigo and myself play, and it can usually coax her out of her own self-made den of isolation, but a small nugget of my brain wants to know why he came here, and it's screaming out very loudly. It's so loud that I can't seem to override it.