Crashing Into Blue

Chapter 31

The night didn't recover once the waiter left with our orders. Davis seemed to be fuming silently, only speaking when the waiter asked him if he wanted another beer; he said yes, but he barely touched it once it arrived at our table. Indigo remained passive and unresponsive for the entire night, cutting her steak with brisk movements and spearing her lettuce a bit too aggressively if you asked me. Katherine tried to break up the sound of silverware hitting ceramic by asking questions about what is was like growing up in a seaside town and if we were excited about the upcoming school year in New York. With myself being the only one to answer any of her questions, and I answered them for the most part in monosyllables, her efforts ended quickly and I didn't blame her; I wouldn't waste my energy on a crowd like us either. The entire meal ended up rivaling the silence of a graveyard, and by the end of it I wished that I could have traded placed with Oliver, who dozed on and off in his highchair for the duration of the meal, leaving us all behind to ponder the gaping silence between us all.

Finally, Davis paid the bill and tipped the waiter, and we said our mumbled goodbyes to Katherine and Oliver as we made our way back to the valet so Davis could retrieve his car to drive us home and put us all out of our collective misery. As I took my place in the backseat and looked over my shoulder, I saw Katherine holding Oliver behind the automatic glass doors leading into the lobby; he was tugging at the pearls on her neck, chewing on them as if it were a candy necklace, but she didn't seem to be paying much attention to him and his slobbering as her eyes were trained on mine. For a moment, I thought I saw pity and resignation reflected back at me, but before long the door was closed and I was hidden behind tinted black windows.

The gravel crunches underneath the car's tires as Davis pulls into our driveway. Once he puts the car into park, Indigo hops out and slams the car door behind her. I watch her headlight-illuminated form make its way up the front porch steps and into the house, without a single look back.

I unbuckle my seat belt and slide towards the door, but I still before it with my hand on the door handle.

"I'm sorry," I say quietly into the darkness of the car. I look back towards Davis, and only see his profile. He takes a deep breath and releases it as he runs his hand over his face in a tired gesture, the other still resting on the steering wheel.

"You have nothing to be sorry about," he says to me quietly. I wait for a moment to see if will continue to speak, but all he does is take another breath in, and out again. I open the car door and shut it closed behind me, and I walk up the front steps, following in my sister's path and heading towards my shadow, but I never reach it because soon enough his car backs out of our driveway and the headlights turn away, leaving me in the dark.