Crashing Into Blue

Chapter 21

A few minutes into playing, and I realize that not even my music can help me drown out my wandering thoughts; it just adds to my general sense of confusion and to the migraine that I feel coming on. I feel sleazy at the thought of potentially wanting another girl's boyfriend, especially a girl who's as sweet and kind as Jasmine, and then I feel distressingly pathetic; even after this particular boy unceremoniously dumped me, I can't seem to shake him. What I can say, first love tends to have a strong grip. With a sigh, I put my guitar back on it stand (no use making it suffer along with me) and just as I'm about to head upstairs to look for some aspirin, the home phone rings. Samson always teases me about how my family must be the last people on the planet with a working home phone landline, and how we should turn it into an exhibit for the local tweens who only know their iPhones. He always assumes that the only people who call it must be annoying telemarketers and duct cleaners. But I can think of one other person who has that number, and who actually uses it from time to time.

"Hello?" I say wearily into the phone, wrapping the cord around my fingers. "Indigo?" a familiarly distant voice asks.

"No, this is Delia," I say while feeling a slight blow to the gut. He doesn't even recognize my own voice.

"Oh, sorry Delia, you just sounded so much like Indigo, and not my usual sunny girl," Davis says to me. I look down at my feet, which are sprinkled with sand.

"It's okay," I say a bit despondently, but I try my best to mask it.

The line goes silent, but I don't say anything. He's the one who called in the first place. He suddenly clears his throat.

"So, how's your summer going?"

Small talk? This is strange.

"Uh, it's going fine. The usual, you know." I cringe to myself. Of course he doesn't know. I power onwards while I rub my forehead, feeling the migraine increase in its intensity. I really wish I managed to get that aspirin.

"How are you?"

"Oh, I'm fine, the usual," he says as he chuckles to himself. "Katherine says hello; she would come to the phone herself but her hands are a bit full at the moment." I hear voices in the background, and some indeterminable babbling and cooing. I try to ignore it.

"So..." I let it stretch out between us.

"Oh, um, yes: I just wanted to know if you got my letters?" he asks with some hesitation in his voice.

"Yeah, we did, and thanks for the offer on helping us move when get out there. We haven't really decided on anything yet, though..." I trail off.

"That's okay, I just wanted to let you guys know that I would be more than happy to help. If you want it, of course," he adds on abruptly.

I nod along but I realize that he can't see me.

"Yes, thanks," I say a bit choppily.

"You know, I was thinking," he says, "that maybe I would come out to see you guys before the summer is over. What do you think about that?"

I hold the receiver away from my ear and stare at it, as if it was an alien object. Am I talking to who I think I'm talking to? Davis, the father Indigo and I haven't seen in over a decade? Who never once showed an interest in seeing us in the flesh during our formative years, but all of a sudden wants to hold on when it's time to be letting go?

"Hello? Delia?" I hear his small voice coming through the receiver, and I put it back to my ear.

"Yeah, I'm here, and you don't have to do that," I tell him.

"I know I don't," he says. I roll my eyes at that; his absence for the entirety of our self-aware lives has made that fact pretty clear.

"But I want to," he adds on. "Plus, I think it's time that you and your sister finally met Oliver. He is your brother."

Half-brother, I think to myself sourly.

"It's a long flight from New York for a toddler," I start to say instead.

"He'll be fine, he's a calm one, just like you were at this age; Indigo on the other hand, she had a set of lungs on her." He laughs at the memory.

I feel myself smile because I know that she still does. But he doesn't know that.

"I spoke with your mom last week, and she's fine with it, so I'll be seeing you guys in a few weeks' time."

He spoke with mom? I live in the same house as her and I barely ever get to see her lately, never mind actually having a full conversation with her. How did he manage to snag a minute with her from across the goddamn country?

"Uh... okay?" I find myself saying since I don't have much of a choice in the matter. It seems like this one has already been decided on, whether I like it or not.

"Great! Look, I have to run, Oliver is on the loose, but tell Indigo the good news and I'll see you soon, Delia."

With that, the line goes dead. All I can hear is the tone left ringing in my ear.

I put the phone back down on the shelf. I make my way up the stairs on autopilot, and I fall onto my bed. Today is completely spiraling out of control, and I just can't seem to take a breather before the next bomb drops. All I can think about is telling Indigo; she's definitely going to put those infamous lungs to good use now.