No one is there

My nightmare came true

Those piercing blue eyes were always a warning.
I knew from the start not to trust you,
The  signs were all there.
My head knew to avoid the inevitable let down you would be. The typical fashion of a one and done with no emotional regard.
When I showed up that night that's what I was expecting.
The flashy, fast, not even worth it thrill, and then the chance to play you at your own game:
I was going to walk out that next morning no care in the world.
But instead I got a soft smile.
Sitting on opposite sides of the couch.
The offer for the room to myself while you took the floor.
And your arms holding me close as if we've known each other before.
We went quickly.
Day after day
Night after night
Slowly but surely you convinced me that I was wrong.
The warning signs were made up: reflections from wrong doings before you:
Things you said you'd never do.
Yet here I am a toy on a string, and you're the cat playing with me; only when you feel a small compulsion to do so of course.
The hand holding and forehead kisses turned to one worded texts and an absence that lingered heavy on my soul.
I didn't realise how attached I had become until you were ripped away.
as though my very lungs had been stripped from my chest.
When we met we both agreed:
" I don't date"

But
when every night I went to bed with my head on your chest.
When every dinner we still argued over who was going to pay.
When you ran across a street market to secretly buy me a necklace
One  I still won't take off to this day

How was I supposed to act like you weren't mine and I wasn't in turn utterly and completely yours.

But,
it was all a dream.
And a lie
And a game
And you kept swiping right:
While I pulled out my heart:
With Each little stitch carefully placed to hold the pieces of it back together into some semblance of the human anatomy.
And I placed it ever so softly in your hands:
Just for you to rip it out and drop it.
And not even bother to stay turned around long enough to watch it crash.

C.G.