Greys Anatomy - What About Us - Japril

Had I known, how to save a life

A/N: I am SOOO sorry for not updating! I honestly have been waiting for this story to get a few more reads and votes so if you vote more and share this story I will update more!

WARNING: TISSUES and chasing cars/how to save a life REQUIRED in the second half

Jackson's POV

Derek told me he sent me an email with the details to an upcoming event so I open my phone to read it. As I open my phone and check the email I decide to check all the other folders; sent, outbox, trash and just delete a bunch of unnecessary emails. When I open sent I notice an email was sent to Stephanie, and I never sent it. I click on it and read the original email. Stephanie emailed me warning me she was coming but I didn't see it! Then, I click on the reply, I read it and it's signed April Kepner. April went through my phone or laptop and replied to and deleted an email from Stephanie without telling me! Why would she do that? Is she jealous or something? By the sounds of her reply in that email I guess she is! She has nothing to be jealous about, I haven't spoken to Stephanie in years, I haven't even thought about her in years. I don't feel anything for her, other than guilt for breaking up with her so badly. 

What do I say to April? She's jealous and she feels insecure even though she has no need to be. I love her and only her, but right now I don't love her actions. I need to speak to her and see if she'll admit if before I have to tell her I already know. She needs to understand she can tell me anything, I'm her boyfriend, I'm not gonna judge her! Shit! I told Derek about us without telling her which means we both kept things from each other. Mine might not be as bad as hers but I still kept something. It's night time, Harriet is asleep and we're climbing into bed. This is the perfect chance for us to discuss this little issue.

''April?''

''Yeah.'' She looks over at me.

''Is there anything you want to tell me?'' I say quietly trying to keep the discussion mature and calm. 

''Huh?''

''Do you want to tell me something?'' I ask again. She looks at me quite puzzled. ''Stephanie related, if that jogs your memory.'' I'm not trying to be mean or blunt but we need to get this conversation started. 

She gulps. ''Yes I know, I emailed her back and I didn't tell you! And worse, I deleted the email so you couldn't see. Jackson I'm so sorry I was jealous and not thinking straight. I've wanted to tell you this entire time but I've been too scared of your reaction!'' She admits all in one breath and I notice a little tear rolling down her soft, pale cheek. That one tear turns into a few more and now she's starting to cry. She's quite distraught now and the tears are coming down faster, that's what guilt does to you. 

''Oh April, don't cry. I don't want you to cry, I just wanna have a conversation. I'm not mad, I'm just a little upset and confused.'' I wipe her tears away and kiss her forehead indicating that I'm not angry at her. ''Why did you do it?'' I ask once she's calmed down a little. 

''I don't know, I wasn't thinking straight! I was angry that she was emailing you and I got a little jealous. And then she mentioned our divorce and basically congratulated you for it and that sent me over the edge. I would have left the email alone until I read that. That sentence made me reply, just to rub it in her face that we're back together. I'm sorry!'' She admits and the tears start falling again. April is usually so tough about this stuff but she must be really upset and guilty about what she did for her to be crying about it.

''Oh April, I haven't even thought about Stephanie in years let alone talk to her. You have nothing to be worried or jealous about, okay? And I understand, she did basically congratulate me on our divorce, it was rude. I do understand why you emailed her back, and I would have let you! I just wish you told me..'' I say softly telling her that I agree with her.